Hangouts on-line

Google Hangouts, a video conferencing and instant messaging service, can be accessed through Google+. With the instant messaging platform, you can receive all the conventional features that most good messaging services will provide, and after you have log in, you'll be able to send images, messages and emojis. Google Hangouts is mentioned in best instant messengers of 2020. Google Hangouts 2020.803.419.1 can be downloaded from our website for free. The program is categorized as Communication Tools. Our antivirus scan shows that this download is virus free. The best online dating screener: Google+ hangouts! January 17, 2013 March 30, 2017 yourejustadumbass Communication, Life Lessons, Love, Men, Online dating, Women. According to online dating statistics, 1 out of 3 people are now using online dating as a method of finding their mate. Some may say that this is the new dating norm for the 30 ... Download Hangouts apk 35.0.327050771 for Android. Hangouts - free messaging, video, and voice The best thing about Hangouts is that you can chat with a large group of people. Chat groups can host up to 150 people. Hangouts also supports video conference groups, and users can make free video calls with up to 10 people. If your conversation history is being clogged by concluded conversations, users can archive them for better organization. Hangouts is the result of three independent branches of development, that had GTalk, Google Voice, and what was then called Hangouts. Hangouts on Your Mobile. As you launch the app, you see it designed as a good messenger should be. Its main window shows the list of chats you had recently. Tap on one to open the history and communicating options. Google Hangouts (previously Google Talk) is an online chatting and phone/video calling platform by Google. It was the default chat for Google+ and Gmail until Google+ was shut down. Since then, Google has experimented a lot with Hangouts. It is Google’s response to Skype and Slack with the company forcing it in the enterprise direction. Hangouts Hangouts is cool and you can add a lot of people to chat with! But there is a just a teeny little problem, we can call each other but still chat in the call not go into the hangouts app just staying at the call and not leaving to go chat in the normal place. The official application of Google, Hangouts sets the objective to open instant communication between users. You can type, video chat or even dial friends and family members for free phone calls, depending on where they live. Hangouts replaces the old Google Talk because it integrates better with the Google+ Ecosystem. As you increase your reach online, the risk of encountering scammers will increase. Sometimes when a scammer tries to target you, their attempt will be weak, and you will easily evade them. Other times, advanced and more cunning people might focus on you and catch you unawares. One popular platform where these scams happen is on Google Hangouts.

reliable hacker

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submitted by Medium-Excuse8956 to u/Medium-Excuse8956 [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 16:50 TheRoboticist_ Should I stay friends [19M] with a guy [19M] who used to be like my brother?

My friend (who I’ll call Ben) and I have known each other for 14 years, and up to June of 2019 we’ve hung out nearly all the time. Growing up, we played on the same soccer club teams. We even drove to separate states just so we could be there for each other when we each landed in the hospital. We were practically brothers. He then met my neighbor and they started dating.
Seeing as this was his first real relationship in a long line of flings, I’ve been happy that they are together, but Ben had grown distant. From when they met till now, I’ve always seen him across the street, but he has never even stepped foot in my driveway since then. I’ve only hung out with him 1 on 1 a couple times, most recently in mid November, but we went to a school parking lot. The only other time was at my neighbors driveway in late May, but it was ofc me with my neighbor & Ben. We also use Snap with each other.
Recently, I’ve seen how often he has hung out with other friends of his, but never me. I choked it to just having different time commitments having taken summer classes and him having closer-by friends to hangout with. Once a month, I’d check in by my fence asking my neighbor and Ben how they were, sharing my experiences.
It changed this past summer. When I was finished recovering from a knee injury, I wanted to start playing soccer again. I saw that Ben had found a group to play pickup with, so I asked if I could join. He stated “You really don’t know when to quit. You think it’s all about you and you need be included in everything”, which made me furious with him. For someone who I thought was like a brother, I didn’t think he would say something like that.
Afterwards, I started playing for my local college. My private coach (who knew the both of us) told me how Ben had apparently tried to join the team before, but hadn’t made the cut. My coach told me Ben was even feeling salty about me playing with them. At the time, I hadn’t told anyone, but coach told Ben. Since then, he’s talked with me a bit more.
For the first time in 10 months, we have a plan to hangout on Sunday. I’m thinking I should talk with him about this since I want to know why he hasn’t made an effort till now.
Should I keep in touch with Ben? Could he possibly be trying to get rid of me? Will it just take time?
submitted by TheRoboticist_ to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 15:33 Big_Whale190 Ugh I tried to use a throw away acc but reddit said it had to low of karma

So first off this will be filled with grammar and misspelling and will look like a 8 year old wrote it but I’m typing on mobile and I tend to type fast but make a TON of mistakes so here’s my story
So me and this girl dated and it was so amazing we hung all the time and it was just so wonderful but Covid came and we began to self quarantine and then we called and texted but we eventually grew apart ig and I just kept forgetting to text her back each time. And I just kept thinking oh I don’t have to worry I’m sure Covid will be over soon and then we can hangout all the time . But Covid didn’t go away and then while I was taking a shit I got a text “hey we need to talk” so I cleaned up and called her and I got dumped because
Quarantine kinda made us not so close then the typical breakup lines
But yea I was just like oh ok 👌 and then we hung up after the whole ok so do you want me to return the gifts
I said keep em cuz idrc
But I was just like it is what it is when people ask me hey are you ok but in truth I wasn’t to ok 👌 I did get upset not mad and I felt a lot of pain in my chest. I messed up in my relationship and it costed me big idk why I’m just getting so emotional rn and idk if I’m a heartless person because that’s what my mom called me when I didn’t cry or seem to bothered by getting dumped like am I heartless? I didn’t cry or seem to worried on the outside but in the inside I was devastated I felt so idk how to describe it. and I have gotten better but every now and then she will just pop up back into my mind and I’m just like damn bruh shits whack
But this is my story and here’s my question
What can I do to make this chest pain go away like what is it?
Am I heartless because I didn’t seem to show much emotion on the matter on the outside?
submitted by Big_Whale190 to teenagers [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 07:05 gniyrt_ Whiskey cocktail idea - Sugar & Spice - HYL#1

This isn't a full recipe. This is a partial recipe for people to bounce ideas around about. I'm going to be posting the rest of my Uncle Nearest ideas slowly as I hangout with my family for a bit. I've been choosing Uncle Nearest as my go-to whiskey lately. I didn't quite finish my entry for their recent cocktail competition but I thought I'd share some of my thoughts anyway.
The competition was based around honoring your legacy. Pretty much all of my ideas revolved around my dad, who I happen to be currently visiting as he gets older and sicker.
The first recipe I'll share is one I just started working on after seeing a picture of my dad and James Brown. Titled Sugar and Spice (obviously, buddy), based on his song I Got You.
I had been thinking a lot about an Old Fashioned build but with a replacement instead of the normal sugar cube/syrup. (example:
2 oz Whiskey
.25 oz Krupnikas
.25 oz Crème de Cacao
2 dashes cocoa/coffee bitters
or something along those lines, that was just the first thing that popped into my head)
I couldn't find any liqueurs I was in love with for this idea. I thought about doing
2 oz Whiskey
.25 oz Curaçao/Shrubb
.25 oz Spiced Rum
(maybe a little less Rum and a little more liqueur)
2 dashes Angostura bitters
Garnished with orange peel expressed over drink
But I decided to go homemade instead.
So then my thought with this was
2 oz Uncle Nearest 1856
.5oz Sugar and Spice infusion*
Stirred over ice, strained into rocks glass ideally with a single large (ideally clear, I miss my setup at home) piece of ice.
Fresh nutmeg shaved over for garnish
Orange peel expressed over drink, but not placed inside.
That infusion would have to bring a few things to the table for me to be happy: It would have to be on the sweeter side, have a rum focus, have a nice spice from the ginger, have an intriguing but not heavy aromatic flavor.
For the Sugar and Spice infusion... sike I worked hella hard on this thing. It's a three step infusion process with the following being some of the ingredients: (Since I'm not entering the competition I feel no need to give away all the secrets)
A mix of three different styled Rums, not super molassesy
Sugar mixture
Dehydrated Orange (either peels with no pith or zest)
Ginger, peeled and diced
Ceylon Cinnamon
Star Anise
Gentian Root
Calamus Root
Black Peppercorn
Recipe can be recreated without the (nine) ingredients I'm withholding, they add some extra fun, but mold it to your likings.
Kind of an acceptable mix of bitters, spiced Rum, and orange liqueur all-in-one.
submitted by gniyrt_ to cocktails [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 04:58 ThrowAway1292848494 Here’s my Story

So first off this will be filled with grammar and misspelling and will look like a 8 year old wrote it but I’m typing on mobile and I tend to type fast but make a TON of mistakes so here’s my story
So me and this girl dated and it was so amazing we hung all the time and it was just so wonderful but Covid came and we began to self quarantine and then we called and texted but we eventually grew apart ig and I just kept forgetting to text her back each time. And I just kept thinking oh I don’t have to worry I’m sure Covid will be over soon and then we can hangout all the time . But Covid didn’t go away and then while I was taking a shit I got a text “hey we need to talk” so I cleaned up and called her and I got dumped because
Quarantine kinda made us not so close then the typical breakup lines
But yea I was just like oh ok 👌 and then we hung up after the whole ok so do you want me to return the gifts
I said keep em cuz idrc
But I was just like it is what it is when people ask me hey are you ok but in truth I wasn’t to ok 👌 I did get upset not mad and I felt a lot of pain in my chest. I messed up in my relationship and it costed me big idk why I’m just getting so emotional rn and idk if I’m a heartless person because that’s what my mom called me when I didn’t cry or seem to bothered by getting dumped like am I heartless? I didn’t cry or seem to worried on the outside but in the inside I was devastated I felt so idk how to describe it. and I have gotten better but every now and then she will just pop up back into my mind and I’m just like damn bruh shits whack
But this is my story and here’s my question
What can I do to make this chest pain go away like what is it?
Am I heartless because I didn’t seem to show much emotion on the matter on the outside?
submitted by ThrowAway1292848494 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.18 02:11 PotRoastBoobs Thursday Night Football Watch Thread: Bengals vs. Browns

If you don’t want to hangout in nfl for the game tonight, you can chill here and watch the game with Broncos Country!
Cincinnati Bengals (0-1) at Cleveland Browns (0-1)
submitted by PotRoastBoobs to DenverBroncos [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 21:30 cscqsim_repostbot A /r/cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

A /cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

With our final school year beginning, we were reflecting on how lost and confused we were when we first started university. We made a lot of mistakes (still am) along the way, but we’re in a much better place after learning from them and constantly putting ourselves out there. In hopes of shining some light and helping others, we decided to make a comprehensive guide for university students – based on our knowledge/experiences - on how to start your successful CS Career (or gain the wisdom to avoid CS altogether, more on this later).
rishiss Background: I am a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Software Engineering. I am an incoming Software Engineer at a F100 company (received return offer after interning this summer). Before that, I interned at an R & D center for space, a small cloud company, and a small IT company. I have a 3.65 GPA, won a few awards at startup competitions/hackathons, and remain pretty active in my schools CS organizations.
chaitu65c Background: I’m a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Computer Science. I’m currently a SWE Intern at a Unicorn and just wrapped up my 2nd internship at a Live Streaming Company(you can most likely tell who they are if you browse my history LOL). Before this, I interned at my school’s IT department, did research under a professor, and worked on a few small startups that other UCI students were building. I have a 3.3 GPA, won some awards along rishiss and was pretty active in my school’s CS clubs.
Disclaimer: “But rishiss/ and chaitu65c, you don’t work at a Big N, go to a target CS school, why should I take your advice?” You’re absolutely right; we are, by no means, ‘up there’ like some other folks on this sub. And, you don’t have to take our advice! Simply close this tab and do whatever else you want 😊. Our intent is to guide and prepare uni students for a CS career they enjoy, not work at Big N or get the highest TC. Life is much more than a dick-measuring contest, and the earlier you learn that the better.
We have also created a guide with our own personal advice/stories

Please, take this advice with a grain of salt. we’re not Tony Robinson or Tim Apple, we’re just two random reddit users.

Table of Contents:

This guide is divided into the following sections:

Is CS Right For Me?

The way we see it, there’s 3 types of people pursuing CS.
  1. Those who know CS isn’t for them – They’re in it for the money, to appease their parents, for a minorequirement, some external factor. They hated programming while taking the introductory CS course and just try to get done with their class/degree ASAP.
Advice: The majority of people who fall under this usually burn out quickly, as they aren’t motivated enough to learn the material and to apply themselves. This usually leads to them cheating and getting kicked out of their major, minor, or university altogether. Even if you manage to earn a degree, we've seen a large number of these folks endure a 'pre-mature' mid-life crisis or simply get fired from their jobs. Before you even start this major, you should definitely understand that this isn’t going to be easy, and you do have to put in a lot of effort to succeed. If this isn’t your cup of tea, definitely look into switching into another major you like.
Some folks are really passionate about technology, but don't want to pursue an entire Computer Science major or see themselves as Software Engineers. That's completely ok! Try looking into related majors or minors. We know many students who switched from CS to majors like Informatics, Business Information Management, and Economics and are thriving in tech-related roles like Data Analytics, Product Management, UI/UX Design, and Technical Recruiting. CS is not (and should not be) for everyone, and there is no shame in having the wisdom quit and move on.
  1. Those who don’t know if CS is for them – Where most of the CS community is IMO. These folks (like me, rishiss) are riddled with something called Imposter Syndrome: “the constant feeling of not being good enough or knowing enough to do your job well.”
Advice: For students, really take the time to learn and be open to anything you go through. Try sticking it out until you've taken a Data Structures course, one of the harder, more important courses out there. If you're not understanding the material or just aren't having fun with it, it’s definitely ok to switch majors/careers. Otherwise, CS just might be the career for you! Give it your best shot!
Admittedly, it's hard to provide stronger insight to overcoming Imposter Syndrome, as I am afflicted by it as well. For me, my IS derives from constantly comparing myself to others and confusing inexperience with incompetency. As such, I continue to work and focus on myself and take baby steps towards smaller goals I set out for myself. Knowing that I've put the effort to improve myself by just 1% everyday has made me a lot more confident.
  1. Those who know for a fact CS is for them – The diamonds in the rough. Learning and practicing CS material gives them a euphoric high.
Advice: Broaden your scope and learn new areas of CS! Who knows, you might find another new field that you really want to work in. Other than that, definitely make new friends regardless of whether they’re a CS major or not. Even try pursuing other hobbies like weightlifting, reading, dancing, or even public speaking. Don't limit yourself!

Freshman Year

We recommend not taking more than 3-4 classes in your first quartesemester, as you shouold keep an ample amount of time to go to professional/social events, make new friends and hang out with them, and pursue your interests.
We've seen a lot of freshmen (and upperclassmen) CS folks get cooped up in their dorm rooms playing video games and watching TV. We understand that these two are a passion for many, but please be cautious to not get consumed by them.
You have the privilege of pursuing higher education, making valuable connections/memories, and setting up your CS career in the trajectory you want. This year is the best year to take advantage of all that university has to offer; make the most of it.
One of the best ways to get involved in your school’s/region’s CS community is by joining clubs like ACM and WICS and participating in hackathons (see ‘Hackathon’ section below). Try pursuing internships and positions in these organizations and events as well!
One, major issue we see with freshmen (even upperclassmen) is their ignorance on all the avenues available in the CS Industry. So we’ve tried to narrow it down (not exhaustive).
  1. Cyber Security Engineer
  2. Front-End Web Developer
  3. Backend Web Developer
  4. UI/UX Designer
  5. DevOps/Cloud/Site-Reliability Engineers
  6. Mobile Engineer
  7. QA Engineer
  8. Product Manager
  9. Data Scientist (Machine Learning/AI)
  10. Embedded Software Engineer
  11. Systems Administrator
  12. Database Administrator (The Wizards)
  13. Networking Engineer
  14. Hardware Engineer
  15. OS Developer
  16. Video Game Developer
  17. Solutions Architect/Sales EngineeTechnical Account Manager
As a freshman, definitely take the time and see if you can picture yourself doing any of the listed fields. You should open yourself to all facets of CS and not just the “hot field” like Data Science and Machine Learning. Choosing a field because it’s “exciting” will usually lead to bad results as usually, other people are thinking just like you and will lead to over-saturation.
Our recommendation is to select the top 5 fields that have piqued your interest and experiment with the field. For example, if you are interested in Mobile App Development, try learning how to build an Android app from the ground up. A simple weather app or alarm clock is completely suitable for a first project/prototype. This lets you understand what skills you would need for this field and can serve as a forecast as to what your career would look like.
You should definitely look for an internship. Ignore the people that tell you to wait until you’re a junior, as it’s going to be very hard to get an internship if you don’t have any experience. Common places that most students don’t realize are available are usually IT departments at your school and even research with professors. Researching is highly recommended as you can definitely learn more about a field you can be interested in and if you’re interested in graduate school, that’s going to be a letter of recommendation that you can ask for.
If you’re considered a minority in Computer Science, look into first and second year internship programs as they’re meant to help you succeed. Here’s some programs that come to mind:
Google STEP
Microsoft Explore
Amazon Future Engineer
Uber STARInternhip
Facebook University
Another way to get internships is to research into smaller companies in your area. If the company is very small (<100 employees), consider reaching out to the CEO on LinkedIn. They might be able to help you! Also, take advantage of university recruiting websites like Handshake to see companies that directly hire from your school. More info on how to get an internship in the ‘Searching for an Internship’ section.

Sophomore Year

Now that you have basic programming knowledge, create your own website or GitHub account and start contributing to them with small personal projects. Nobody expects you to make a full-stack MERN project hosted and scaled on AWS at this stage. Focus instead on clean code, learning a framework or two on a language you like, and creating a small, robust feature. Grow from there!
If you weren’t able to find an internship/research opportunity as a freshman, community involvement, projects, and hackathons become especially important, as they are a great way to make you stand out on your resume and to recruiters when you reapply. As you brush up on your skills, apply again, and try your luck out.

Data Structures and Algorithms

In addition, you are most likely to take a Data Structures and Algorithms course this year. Make sure you are focusing on this class and writing good notes; you will need this knowledge when interviewing for internships and full-time jobs in the near future. Here is a link to our DS and A course (in C++) for reference

Junior Year

As a junior, companies are more willing to hire you for an internship, as they are likely to convert you into a full-time employee after graduating. This transition process is much easier than interviewing, and they'll usually offer you a higher compensation package if they want to convert you to a full-time employee. As you now should have knowledge of Data Structures and Algorithms, we highly recommend looking into coding interview prep sites like LeetCode and HackerRank or purchasing a prep book like CTCI or EPI (advanced).
Continue to attend hackathons, remain active in clubs/organizations, and grow your portfolio.
Classes will be much harder; expect the time for completing projects to double and the content covered to be much more difficult. We recommend taking no more than 2-3 upper-division CS courses and balancing your load with 1-2 GE classes. You should not be taking more than 16 units (assuming 4 units per course).
Start to get an idea of what field in CS you would like to pursue. Research what it takes to be successful in that field. You can do so by looking up job postings with that title on LinkedIn and looking at the requested skill set or take a look at Roadmap.sh. If you want to learn more about a related skill set and your school doesn't offer a course, consider picking up a class on udemy.com.

Senior Year

Focus heavily on your senior capstone, project classes, etc. as they're the last thing you can put on your resume before applying for full time. By now, you should have at least 3 polished, working projects on your GitHub that you can easily talk about with your recruiter. Preferably, they're aligned with the CS field you wish to enter.
If you were able to get a return offer from an internship, congrats! However, don’t immediately sign the offer. Once you have an offer, you should still try to interview at companies that you’re interested in by the deadline of the time to accept the offer. A good way of doing this is to reach out to a University recruiter for that company and explain the deadline you have. Usually, they’re really helpful and can potentially help skip interviews that you were supposed to do!
In addition, if your friends were able to intern at places you’re interested in, definitely ask for a referral or to send your resume to their recruiter. This usually reduces the risk of being ghosted by that company and increases your chances of getting hired!
Once you finally sign, definitely take the time to relax and enjoy. Just make sure you pass your classes and stay out of trouble

Classes:

What Classes should I take?

Should Already be Required:

Must Take:

Good to Have

How do I succeed in these classes?

rishiss: You’re more than likely coughing up hundreds, if not thousands, to attend university. It makes no sense to not take full advantage of the course and course staff.
The way I take notes: I learn from examples; I want to enter my code into the IDE to see what happens. I do a three way split; Google Docs on the left, IDE on top right and terminal (to compile, see output, make new file, etc) on bottom left. I note down the date and topic of the lecture and write questions I have in the comments on Docs. I make sure to highlight important information and possible test questions. I even share the link with friends!

In the quarters where I followed the steps above, I never got a grade lower than an A-.

Dealing with Bad Professors

During your time in college, you’re likely going to have at least one bad professor that might make it worse if you have to go to class. If that’s the case, it’s definitely fine to not go to class (as long as it’s not mandatory). However, if you do decide not to go, you must make sure you learn the material, so you won’t be behind on the coursework and studying for tests. In addition, you should be doing something productive on the side. If you don’t go to class and spend the time watching Netflix or playing video games, you’re losing time that you can spend on something that might be fun and can help you in the long run.

You can take Graduate Courses!?

chaitu65c: A highly underutilized set of courses you can take would be graduate courses. Graduate courses are usually very specialized in certain fields. If you were able to take all the undergraduate courses you wanted and still have spare classes to fill out, I'd recommend researching into taking Graduate courses! They’re a good way to build out your specialization and learn new, cool stuff! In addition, if you’re looking for classes to reach the required number of CS courses needed, your CS department might allow you to make the course count towards your degree!

Projects

They're super important.

How do I succeed in class projects?

Personal Projects and your CS Career

rishiss: Projects are your saving grace, especially if you are lacking work experience. They show technical aptitude, willingness to take initiative, and leadership. I’ve seen people with only projects on their resume get positions at the Big N. Projects are good ways to expand your knowledge of CS as the possibilities are endless! It is best to have a variety of projects dealing with a variety of technologies. As such, you can open yourself up to more positions and have more talking points during the interview.
I tend to edit the ‘Project’ Section of my resume with relevant projects and technologies. For instance, if I made a full stack web application and applied to a DevOps organization, I would highlight my AWS, CI/CD, and Terraform experiences more than my React/Node js work.
It is recommend the project is about something that motivates you and are passionate about e.g. video games, movies, books, sports, etc., as it is very easy to give up half way due to stress or lack of motivation/interest.
Like anything else in Computer Science, projects require you to break it down into smaller pieces. Start with the end in mind and draw out the intended architecture/functionalities. Start with what you know and research on the parts you don't know after that. You will be using these skills often in industry for any project/feature planning.
Spending 15-30 minutes a day is all you need to make a successful personal project. Don't make excuses and get coding!

Open Source Contributions

If you’ve ever noticed popular github repositories such as torvalds/linux, these are repositories where people from all over the world can report issues with it and someone can fix it. If you are able to make a contribution to a huge open source repository, it looks really good on your resume.

Hackathons

What are Hackathons?

Hackathons are large scale coding events, where students from around the area come together and collaborate - usually in teams of 4 (but you can go solo or with a partner!) - to build some software. Companies like Amazon, Northrop Grumman, Google, and Twilio sponsor awards related to best use of their technology. After 24 - 48 hours of intensive coding, participants submit their projects, whether it be an Android video game, Chrome Extension, productivity web app, etc. Submissions are shared with the companies and other hackathon organizers, where they select the best projects and award teams with swag like keyboards, gift cards, and even summer internships at their company.
Participating in hackathons are one of the best ways to hone your coding skills, network with companies and other students, and get free comfy T-shirts. It is also one of the best ways to gain industry knowledge, as representatives from these companies and hackathon organizers create numerous workshops and answer any questions you may have. Winning awards at these hackathons are also great resume boosters and talking points during interviews.
The biggest hackathon organizer is Major League Hacking. Visit their website, and you can see all the hackathons (remote or local) they are partnered with. Make to be on the lookout for application release dates from the hackathons and apply early.
With Covid, you may miss out on the free goodies and the in-person networking with students and professionals. However, most hackathons are accepting many more applicants due to it being virtual/remote this year.

What Should I Do At Hacakathons?

Take advantage of the resources available at hackathons. You’re attending a mini CS conference and should be, besides coding, networking with professionals, learning about the different companies, attending workshops, asking technical/non-technical questions to mentors, and getting as much free shit as you can get. Besides T-Shirts, companies give out vouchers to their services, applications to their internship and full-time positions, pillows, notebooks, water bottles, sweaters, and even backpacks.
If you’re looking to get an award, judges at hackathons care a lot about the pitch and the idea rather than the actual execution of the idea. Having an idea beforehand is also helpful, so you can spend your time focusing on the MVP.

Friends and Networking

chaitu65c: I think it’s definitely useful if you have two different friend groups: One dedicated to career and Non-Career Group.
Career Group - When making a friend group dedicated to career, try to be the dumbest person in the group, you’re definitely going to learn a lot from them as you soak up knowledge! Best ways of meeting friends who are career-driven can be through major specific orientation (actually how I met rishiss), courses, major related clubs, etc.
Non-Career Group - While having a group that motivates you for your career is important, it’s also important to have another friend group that can help you relax and to enjoy your time! A really good way to find these friend groups can be anywhere from your hall to General Education courses, social clubs like Circle K, fraternities/ sororities(if that’s your cup of tea) and others!
This is what has worked for us; no need to follow this exact format.

Resume

rishiss: Here are the few take-aways on writing a resume that gets through the ATS.

Searching for Internships

Searching for internships in CS is really different and harder from searching for internships in other professions. CS internship interview processes are often longer and much more technical on what you have learned as a CS major. We've prepped 2-3 months beforehand on CS concepts, whiteboarding, etc.

Timeline

This timeline primarily focuses on large, non-government/defense companies or competitive startups. This also assume you are applying for a summer internship.
August - September: Applications are opened to the public. Make sure to look out for positions and apply early, as most companies admit students on a rolling basis. A site that we used often is Apply.fyi. After applying, you may receive an automated (< 48 hours) invitation to complete an Online Assessment, consisting of multiple choice and/or coding questions about Data Structures, Algorithms, and Run Time Complexity. You will have usually 1-2 weeks to complete the assessment. Please that you may be rejected if you are not able to pass 90% of the questions on the assessment: Please also note that you may be instantly rejected due to things out of your control like years of experience, cancellation of internship, internal corporate issues, and more. Don't take rejections too seriously; just keep applying!
October - November: After passing the resume screen and the OA, you will be contacted by the company's recruiter for a phone screen. During the screen, you will probably be asked a few confirmation questions about your resume, sponsorship, years of experience with X, etc. and minor behavioral questions like what made you apply for this position, what are you pursuing outside of class, etc. You may also receive questions about your CS fundamentals e.g. what is a hashtable, whats the difference between a process and a thread, what is the runtime complexity of sorting a string, etc. As long as you're cool and confident (and not cringe/edgy), this part should be a breeze.
November - Mid January: If you made it through the two Thanos snaps, you will be invited to an onsite “Power-Day,” where interviewees attend 2-4 whiteboard interviews while being grilled on their technical skills and projects. Some companies make applicants go through a panel interview, where a team of 2-5 Software Engineers grill you on technical questions and your resume. You are often pampered with free travel, food, stipends, etc.
December - February: If you were deemed a good fit by the hiring committee, you will be extended an offer to intern at the company during the upcoming summer for 10-12 weeks. Remember, nothing is final until you receive an offer letter in your inbox. Some companies may also place you on a wait-list and offer you a spot if someone were to reject their offer letter.
For government orgs, defense companies, and smaller organizations, the recruiting season starts in February/March and usually ends in April and May. After applying online and passing the resume screen, you will usually be immediately pushed to an on-site interview. Most likely, you will be interviewing with your future boss/co-worker.
Please note that internships are not only offered in the summer, they are provided in the Fall, Winter, and Spring (rare) as well. The competition for these internships is usually lower, and the process usually starts 3-4 months beforehand.

How to get the Interview

Besides following resume tips, make sure to apply to as many places as you can. To get our first internships, we recall applying to approximately 250-300 places before we secured our internship plans for that summer. Also, if you do get ghosted, don’t take it personally, usually, university recruiters often spend so much time reviewing a lot of applications.
Other precautions to take to get noticed are to try attending career fairs if you can, you might be able to get an interview(worst case, free swag!). Other than that, try reaching out to upperclassmen or friends you know that interned and ask for referrals. It’s one of the best ways to get noticed!

What to expect

As part of the interview process, there’s 4 types of interviews that you should make sure you know.
Behavioral Interview: These interviews ask you questions about culture fit such as “Why are you a good candidate” and “Tell me about a time when you ...”
Coding/Technical Interview: These interviews ask you questions similar to what you see on Leetcode and Hackerrank. These interviews are designed to test your Data Structures and Algorithms knowledge.
System Design: System Design involves the interviewer testing your building to design a service/software and test your knowledge of understanding what things to use for the task and how you will integrate them together. You’re definitely not expected to know this and it’s not likely you’re gonna get asked this. Places that could ask you this are Unicorns, Trading Companies and Hedge Funds, and Big Established Companies.
Concurrency/Low Level Interviews: If the company’s biggest product involves low level principles such as networking principles and kernel stuff, there’s a possibility you can get asked this. Places that come to mind are hardware companies and trading firms.
Some companies may adopt only one of these interviews and some may adopt all.

How to Ace the Interview

It’s highly recommended that you look up the interview experiences that other students have faced so that you can potentially filter out companies with red flags and know what questions to expect. Common sources to search up on this would be Reddit (csMajors and cscareerquestions), Jumpstart (Relatively new portal for students), Glassdoor and maybe Blind (Aside from the toxic TC or GTFO culture, they do give good advice on interviews). With that said, here’s some advice we have when you approach each kind of interview we’ve seen.

Advice on Behavioral Interviews

Use the STAR method when describing your experiences. Being quantifiable with the impact of your actions will impress the interviewer.

Advice on Technical Interviews

Begin by reviewing your notes from the Data Structures and Algorithms class. Do not proceed further until you know how to implement these DS and As from scratch with the language of your choice(If you do know python, it’s recommended as there’s a lot of builtin features!). After doing so, we highly recommend a book like CTCI and EPI to gain a review on programming language details and your DS and As. Then, visit sites like LeetCode to practice real questions from major companies. A Facebook Engineer completed 600 LC problems and compiled the most important ones into a list here. During the interview, make sure to talk out loud about possible approaches and tradeoffs before whiteboarding. It is perfectly acceptable (often recommended) to ask the interviewer to ask questions about the problem and get clarification. Once you have an idea in mind and have talked about it with your interviewer, begin whiteboarding. While you talk about the final idea you want to use, write out pseudo code and comments about all the steps you need to implement in order to finish coding your solution. After that, start coding. Make sure to have proper function headers, syntax, spacing, classes/structs, imports, etc. After coding your solution, give a brief explanation and attempt to make it run with less space and in less time (if your solution is not as efficient as you think it can be).

Advice on System Design

These are somewhat hard to approach if you don’t have experience ever doing it. If you do have experience designing and building services in your spare time and as part of your work experience, definitely rely on your experience. An important thing is to definitely ask clarifying questions. There might be hidden requirements you didn’t think about that could drastically change the way you approach the solution.

Advice on Concurrency/Low level

Understand basic principles such as Processes vs Threads (A lot of people don’t know the difference!)TCP vs UDP and how to make an application thread safe. Other than that, it’s recommended that you familiarize yourself with basic OS concepts such as Deadlocks, locks that you can utilize to make an application thread safe, etc.

Searching for Full Time Jobs:

The big bucks.
The process for finding a Full-Time Job is usually very similar to finding an Internship. There’s three main differences are:
  1. Harder Questions. Ex: Google usually asks Leetcode Mediums to Hards + the special Leetcode Hard question that Google asks it’s applicants (they create a new one every year).
  2. More Rounds of Interviewing: For example, Microsoft makes interns do 2 rounds while New Grads do 4 rounds during the onsite part of the process.
  3. Compensation: Interns usually get an hourly rate and, possibly, a housing stipend. New grads, however, are given a yearly salary and, possibly, a sign-on bonus, stocks, and benefits e.g. health insurance, vacation days, etc.
The process for finding a Full-time Job won’t really change as much as finding an internship, but keep in mind that the bar is higher. This is probably the biggest reason why you should look into interning early; by getting an offer at the place you like, you don’t need to go through the daunting process of finding a full-time role.
Get as many offers as you can this time around, so you can negotiate and select the position, company, compensation, and location that works best for you.

Negotiation

Negotiation is a really powerful tool that you can use in the interview process, even as an intern. There’s a lot of guides to negotiation and we recommend Nick Singh’s guide (Look at his LinkedIn and newsletters) for more.

Final Thoughts

University is a probably the most important time of your life and a foundational block of your CS Career. Like any foundation, it must be sturdy and takes a tremendous amount and energy of time to develop. Take advantage of all the resources (like this one) you can get your hands on. Definitely learn from the mistakes people have made and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish’ - Steve Jobs
Original
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2020.09.17 19:31 Kbluey Portugal September 2019

So welcome to the new subreddit! I'm super excited and I figured - why not kick us off with my last major trip.
Quick Summary The hills are legit mini-mountains haha- and they are everywhere. Wear sensible comfortable shoes. Spend as much time as you can on the southern coast of portugal. Spend as much time as you can in/near Porto. Don't skip Sintra. If you like port or wine - the Douro valley is a must. Ubers are super cheap. Budget hotels have incredibly hard uncomfortable beds. If you have to cut down on time somewhere - do less of Lisbon (not that it's not lovely.)
Below is a review of my trip to Portugal in September of 2019. I spent the first few days solo on the southern coast and then met up with some friends who flew into Lisbon and we spent time there and in Porto before all flying back home together. We are all single in our mid 30s if that helps :) Costs below are listed in US Dollars.
(Photos all taken by me btw)
I booked the majority of my trip on tripmasters.com (I have done many trips through them) The total cost of the portion of my trip booked at tripmasters was 1,347.63. That included round trip international flights, the train from lisbon to porto, the hotel in porto and travel insurance. I traveled for a total of 13 nights.
Part 1: The Southern Coast
  • I flew solo from of Austin, Texas on Monday, August 26, 2019 to Faro, Portugal (with a short layover in London.) The Faro airport is crazy tiny, it's basically just a hangar in a field. They bus you from the tarmac quite a ways to the terminal. I found my luggage and just sort of wondered out of an open door. No one even spoke to me hah. I didn't realize later on that not having a stamp in my passport when I was attempting to fly home at the end of my trip might be problematic haha - so probably tip number one, make sure someone somewhere in faro stamps your passport hah.
  • I pre-booked a one way private car transfer (on a site called Yellowfish) from the Faro airport to the town I was staying in - Albufeira, Portugal. The private transfer was worth it for me - since I was solo and it was low stress. The cost was ~37.82
  • In Albufeira I stayed at the Vila Branca - which was like a budget style hotel. It served it's purpose for me perfectly. However, I will note - the bed was like sleeping on a concrete slab. I never felt anything like it. I thought that initially it was just this hotel - but I ran into this in all my portgual hotels. The hotel however was was a quick 5 minute walk down to the beach elevator and about a 10-15 minute walk down to the nightlife. Don't get me started on the walk back though, holy crikey the hills! It's basically a cobblestone vertical climb back up. Tip: It's absolutely stunningly beautiful but don't even try to be wearing heels, wear cute sensible flat shoes for the love of pete. The nightlife in Albufeira is amazing, crowded and crazy and highly entertaining. I was solo but I no trouble finding a good time. I wandered into some pubs and chit chatted with new friends - I went to nightclubs and danced, I found a karaoke bar and did some karaoke to a mostly empty room haha. Great times abound.
  • One of the main reasons I decided to even go to the southern coast of portugal was so I could visit the famous Benagil Cave near Lagoa. I had done enough research to know that access to the cave is by water only and I saw a lot of boat trips that included this but I also saw that it might be possible to swim. A lot of the boats aren't able to go inside of the cave and you can't get off the boat to hang out in there and I knew I wanted to take my time there so I decided against a boat. I wasn't sure what my plan was specifically to get into the cave but regardless I hopped in an uber from my hotel to the benagil beach. Once I got to the beach I saw how short the swim was. You swim out from the beach and around an outskirting of rock and around the other side of the rock - I'd say if you put your mind to it about 15 of minutes of hard swimming - but I took my time. I prepared in advance for the possibility of a swim by bringing myself a simple tiny blow up floaty to help me out - and I'm grateful I did. The swim is short but the current is strong and that water is breathtakingly cold! So I blew up my floatie and onwards and I went and when I tell you that this cave is one of the most amazing things I have ever seen in my life you better believe it. There were places nearby to rent paddle boards or boat trips but they were stupid expensive so I'm glad I went the route I did. Tip: You 100% want to be there as early as humanly possible, I'm talking sun-up. Because it will get crazy crowded with boats going in and out and a billion people all getting those photos for the gram.
  • After I was done at benegil, I swam back to shore and decided to do a little walk. I walked from the benegil cave over to the Marinha beach. I was a little nervous during part of the walk unsure about directions haha but I'm so glad I did this. Stunning stunning views over the caves and ocean. When I was done here, I called an uber back to my hotel in Albufeira.
  • I had so much fun on the shoreline that I ultimately did decide to book a boat trip. And it was so worth it. I got to see the entire shore line of caves, we popped into the benagil cave where I had swum the day before. We even got to see dolphins! It was one of the more pricey things I did but so very much worth it. I booked here: https://xridealgarve.com/
  • Additionally I was looking on airbnb experiences for something adventurous to do and I ended up finding a guy that does paramotor rides. So I talked myself into and out of doing this a few dozen times and ultimately I found my lady-balls in the bottom of a few glasses of wine, and I ended up following through with it. It was one of the scariest but amazing things I have ever done. https://photos.app.goo.gl/7UzVYQC7f9rjbXs19 & https://photos.app.goo.gl/Hbvx5Wk1GdiBXLYj8 Unfortunately this experience is no longer listed on airbnb :( but if you can find anything similar it was incredible.
Part 2: Lisbon
So after my beautiful time down on the coast, it was time to figure out the best way to get from Albufeira to Lisbon where I was meeting up with 3 other friends from back home in Austin to continue our adventures in Portugal.
  • There were lots of transport options from Faro to Lisbon but I didn't want to have to go all the way back to Faro so I got to digging and ended up finding a direct bus straight from Albufeira to Lisbon for cheap - score! I found booked the bus on https://www.omio.com/ it was a lovely relaxing bus ride and I enjoyed it.
  • I booked an airbnb to share with 2 of my 3 friends in Lisbon, our 4th friend booked their own airbnb about a half a block down the street. The initial airbnb I booked was on first site, incredible - beautiful and spacious - albeit however.. after spending the first night there, the worst of the worst happened, on of my friends woke up with bedbug bites on her arms and legs! Shit. We didn't see a lot of bedbugs and we searched - but we did find several adult ones. Our thought was that they had treated for them and not waited enough time to let them be killed off. Not sure, but all we knew is that we were out of there. It was a real shame because it was such a beautiful place.
  • Ultimately we worked with the owner and airbnb and all that and found another airbnb down the road that was decently nice but definitely not as cool. It was also a 5 floor walk up, with the last flight of stairs basically being a vertical climb and it was a bitch with the luggage - no lie. Also, one again with the insanely hard mattresses, I ended up so uncomfortable I slept on the couch in the living room.
  • Our first night in lisbon we stumbled upon this lovely Moroccan restaurant https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g189158-d792971-Reviews-Flor_da_Laranja-Lisbon_Lisbon_District_Central_Portugal.html and they gave us one of the absolute best meals we had. Delicious family style served food and it was so so good.
  • Since my friends had just flown in they were exhausted but I was already acclimated and we were staying in the "party district" so I decided to go find myself some fun. Found a little irish pub with some live music around the corner called Cheers, made some friends had a grand ol time and stumbled my way back to the airbnb.
  • The next day with my friends rested up the 4 of us hopped into a teeny tiny uber haha and headed off to Belem to see the sites. There were some other transportation options but honestly - Ubers in portugal were SO SO SO cheap and we were splitting them 4 ways, it was the most economical for us. My friends elected to wait in the very long line to go inside and explore the Belem tower interior, I was happy exploring the outside and sipping wine by ocean side. They enjoyed it but and said the views were incredible. It was a crowded and touristy area to be expected, but I think it's definitely worth a visit to the area if you have the time.
  • We also walked over to the Mosteiro dos Jerónimos and wandered around the gorgeous grounds and interior (free to go inside but I think you have to pay to upstairs maybe? we didn't bother) It was beautiful and peaceful I'm not usually one for the religious stuff but the architecture of this place was outstanding.
  • Often times when looking for where to eat we just pull up google maps and wing it. This night we happened upon DesNorte and I wasn't feeling much of the menu so I decided I was going to eat cheese and wine for dinner and when I tell you that I enjoyed the hell out of that it's an understatement. I ordered desert as well and I was a happy happy girl. No lie, cheese wine and dessert here was one of my most favorite meals :)
  • That night we hit up the area for pubs and fun and had a fantastic time popping in and out of places that looked like fun. Lots of drinks and lots of fun memories with friends some of which are a slight bit hazy :)
  • The next morning - raring to go we wandered off in search of breakfast. We were struggling a bit and in a hurry so we ended up at a place called Zenith and to be honest - the walk there was the best most beautiful part. This place is a chain and it just reminded me of every bougie hipster brunch place I'd already seen in Austin. It was fine, it was food but meh.
  • We spent the rest of the with some general sight seeing in Lisbon, we wanted to take the yellow tram but the line and crowd was ppppuuuuureeee madness so we noped away from that situation.
  • Ended up finding a super cute micro-brew pub called Duque and we sat outside and proceeded to enjoy some amazing local brews and people watching hanging out.
  • For lunch we ate at the TimeOut Market - which is basically a food hall and it was absolutely awesome. I had some kind of a duck curry and chef's kiss it was stellar.
  • That evening we tried again for the yellow tram but another crowd we didn't want to handle. We popped up google and there was a rooftop bar across the street we figured - why the heck not. Rooftop Bar - Hotel Mundial was a bit wonky to access (due to interior hotel construction that may be finished by now) but we made it and were rewarded with relatively cheap drinks and stunning sunset views of the castle and the town.
  • That night we found an amazing tapas place for dinner called Tapa Bucho and we ate allll the things :) Highly recommended. The wait was long but they serve you wine/sangria from the doorway while you wait, it was fun to be out there chatting and making friends.
  • It was of my travel friends birthday so we got a bit tipsy and decided to head to Pink Street where we were told we could find a portugese "gentlemens' club" because we're good friends haha. Well unfortunately the gentlemen clubs down there costed a toooon of money for entry (I get it, they're expensive anyway and we were in a touristy area) and we're good friends but not that good haha. So moved along and accidentally ended up in an all male burlesque club - that's a story for another time but we had some beers and, wandered around the area and popped in and out of places and ultimately ended up in some rowdy irish pub down there. Great, albeit somewhat fuzzy times were had! :) I think the pink street would have been cool to visit on an off peak time but we just didn't make it back to the area.
  • The next day - we were tuckered out - so we decided a beach day was in order. We stopped at the local bodega and grabbed some snacks and booze and packed our bags. There were transportation options but we were a bit worn out and wanted to be lazy so we piled into an uber and took at 30 minute ride out to Pria de Carcavelos. Somehow we forgot towels and spent way too money purchasing beach towels from a beachside stand that was sketchily located inside a tunnel haha. It's the ugliest towel I've ever seen, I spent to much money on it but it gives me a great smile and laugh every time I break it out at home for the pool or the lake. Either way we had a great time drinking our Super Bock and spending the day on the beach. Super cold water, not quite as cold as the southern coast but brrrrrrr! We ate dinner at one of those places on the beach (La Plage I think it was called), the food was unremarkable but the sunset was spectacular.
  • My overall take on Lisbon - the hills are legit. Flat comfortable shoes and you will thank yourself later. There were times when we were a short walk away but opted for an uber because we just could not climb another hill haha. Ultimately - Lisbon was a fun city but sort of felt like a lot of metropolitan european cities I had been to before. It was super easy to navigate and friendly but I don't know that I'd go back and spend a ton of time vacationing there, I think it'd be a great place to live though :)
Part 2B: Sintra
  • Our last day in Lisbon we grabbed the train from Lisbon to Sintra. It was cheap and took < 1 hour. We missed the first train of the day and got the second, boy I sure wish we'd been on the first. Sintra is SO SO worth the trip but because we only did a day trip we were pressed for time and things were super crowded. If could go back and do it again, I'd take 1.5-2 days for lisbon and just not be rushed. Or at the very least I'd catch that first train out.
  • Our first stop was - us hoping to knock out the most crowded thing - the palace. We hopped on a harrowing bus that wound it's way up into the high high hills around hairpin turns. If you have an unsettled stomach, - take dramamine ha it was an incredibly beautiful ride up there though. BIG TIP Purchase your tickets for the Palace BEFORE YOU GO!! We bought our palace tickets here: getyourguide.com. Otherwise the first line you'll wait in for hours is the one to purchase tickets. I opted to only buy the exterior grounds pass ticket - my friends bought the one that included the interior tour of the palace. I'll be honest, I've seen several palace interior tours and they've never really been my thing so I was happy with that. And frankly, I think I made the right choice here haha. My friends waited in line for their palace tour for over 2 hours - while i was free to wander the amazing grounds at my leisure. Climb out to the terraces and all of that wonderfulness. It was also much more expensive to tour the inside. It's probably worth it if you have never seen the interior of a one of these types of places but I was super happy to skip it. No lines for me haha :) Whatever you do, the palace is not to be missed - it is truly special just try your best to aim for early or late or off peak.
  • After the palace we hopped back on the bus (which is basically a glorified hop on hop off experience) and headed to the Quinta da Regaleira - a gothic style castle with the famous well. This property was amazing - and one of my highlights in the trip to portugal. Wandering about the tunnels and caves and beautiful paths - I legit could have spent an entire day here happily.
  • A lot of people make the 3rd stop in Sintra the Castelo dos Mouros (the one that resembles the great wall of china) but we just simply ran out of time. So we grabbed a quick bite and caught the last train back to lisbon.
Part 3: Porto
I think I fell in love with Porto's charm the moment I got off the train.
  • The next day - it was off to grab a train to Porto. The Alfa-Pendular train journey takes 2h40min. A single ticket on the Alfa Pendular Train from Lisbon to Porto costs €44.30/€31.70 but the cost of my ticket was included in my tripmasters package purchase. The train station was easy to find but a little wonky to navigate. We asked for some help and got it all sorted out.
  • In porto my 3 friends ended up at one hotel and I ended up a different one. My hotel was the Porto Dormus and I don't recommend it. It's in some crazy paradoxical location between 4 one way streets that ubers cannot find and it was kind of far away from places, oh and yet another hard as rock bed. We spent time most of the hangout time at my friends hotel - The hotel premium porto downtown. They had softer beds (still not by a lot but definitely some) and a cute little roof top bar that was the perfect place to chill or wind down and have a nice glass of wine and watch the sunset.
  • On our first day in Porto we mainly wandered around town - through a street fair, took in the sites, played cheesy tourist, and of course had to take a silly but so pretty gondola ride across the river, found a spot to have a francesinha sandwich and let me tell that was a gastronomical adventure that shouldn't be missed (or taken lightly ha!) The buildings and tile and street art just absolutely beautiful, I could have been happy doing nothing but just walking around.
  • We walked up to the Porto Cathedral and my friends paid to go inside. I went to find a beer :) I wandered around the corner and found the cutest little cafe called Taberna da Sé with the most amazing views and waited for my friends to get done at the cathedral.
  • Then it was time to get down to business and drink some port. We really had no clue what to look for or what we were doing ha, so off to the google maps. We found a place called Pocas that was open late and looked fantastic. We got a tour+sampling there and it was super awesome. We got to see the old port, and storage and the guy that fixes the barrels and then we got to drank. Since it was late, we basically had the place to ourselves and it was magical. Our guide was amazing in teaching us all about port. We stuck around basically until they (lovingly) kicked out out haha.
  • Our next day in Port was my birthday!! And one of my favorite things (and my friends too) is finding small breweries or local boozeries if you will and it turns out that Porto is really up and coming in the microbrewery age! So a brew-crawl seemed like the perfect way to see more of the city and spend my birthday. So I found a few that looked good and mapped out the most efficient route to hit them up. Our first stop was A Fábrica da Picaria - the "first" microbrewery in porto - which opened in 2018 :) The service was lovely, we were the only ones there and we sat out on the back patio. We also went to fabrica nortdada - which was much bigger brewpub and had a huge selection of fun and unique beers. Eventually we ended up at Levare Craft Beer - which was an absolutely beautiful setting. Large and welcoming with a secret garden style patio.
  • That night it was my turn to pick my birthday dinner and I felt like I needed tapas in my life. So off to the googles. We ended up at RUA Tapas&Music Bar - which was like eating tapas in a night club :) Disco lights, live music, good food, fun fun times.
Part 3B: Pinhao
We wanted our final day in portugal to be relaxing but special. And based on our conversation back at Pocus (the port place ) we thought - why not go see how port is made and spend a day hanging out drinking some wine and relaxing. Our guide at the Pocus tour was kind enough to give us some instructions on what train to take and what places to visit in Pinhao (the town where the vineyards are.)
  • So on our final day in Portugal, we woke up found some quick breakfast (egg tarts yum!!) and grabbed the train to Pinhao. Pinhao is very small and easily walkable. The train dropped us off and we walked over to Quinta do bomfim. They seated us in a beautiful room for our tasting. After our tasting we took a tour and after that was finished, we moved out to the patio and kept on ordering wines and port from the menu. I could have sat there for the entire trip, the views were incredible.
  • After lounging about at bomfim we decided to walk across the bridge to Quitna Das Carvalhas. Where we had more tastings and another beautiful tasting room to enjoy.
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2020.09.17 16:32 Blood_Noir Depressed Ex Broke Up With Me, I'm Having a Hard Time Coping.

My ex (M24) broke up with me (F25) at the end of August. We started talking in January and we met in February, his mother had just passed away, he was unemployed, and he was having other family issues. Despite all of that, I still stayed. I supported him through so much, and eventually he started living with me through quarantine.
I truly fell in love with him. I think he's a wonderful person and we meshed really well, and I know he was happy too. We hit it off immediately and felt almost inseparable. He had a lot of health issues going on and eventually they prescribed him antidepressants. For awhile they seemed to be working, albeit with some side effects. I think his general mood started to decline, and eventually I felt like I was existing around him. He got a remote job and would mostly keep to himself most of the day, and only really hangout when I made dinner. I know that he would spend about an hour outside with his tea meditating, but he said after awhile that even that wasn't helping like it once did. The day before he moved out he told me he wasn't honest about his test results. He had a CT scan done and there was noticeable trauma to the brain. They had recommended counseling and that's how the antidepressants came up. He told me he had stopped taking them (I'm still not sure why) and that he's felt like he's been on a slow decline since. He feels no emotions except anger. He say's he tired of fighting everything and he just wants to give up. He ended up finding a place and left, but never told me his new address.
Since he's left, it's difficult trying to talk to him. He ended up breaking up with me two days after he left. Throughout the relationship he would tell me that I'm his favorite person, that I'm special to him, truly amazing etc. But if he feels that way I don't know why he wouldn't want to salvage things. He said I deserved better and that he can't even give me the bare minimum right now. One minute he would tell me he wanted to be with me and fix things, the next he's silent.
I try to reach out to him. I've sent a heartfelt essay which he liked and responded to. He said it was beautiful, his heart aches, I'm truly amazing and he wishes he was stronger for me etc. I recently sent him one where I was kind of lashing out, because I have no closure. I still have so many questions. He responded to that one saying he was sorry for hurting me, he wants me to be happy and that I could do better. He went on to say that I did nothing wrong, that it's all him. He can't confront his issues and he's still just angry/tired/exhausted. He's withering away. He feels like it's consuming him and he just doesn't have the energy anymore.
Someone I love is out there and I can't help. They don't want my help either. I've offered to go to appointments with him, book them, offered alternatives for medication etc. He refuses. He says he doesn't know what he needs, but he doesn't want me being his champion. I have cried every day since he left. I'm an absolute mess because when we were together everything was great, we never had problems. I saw this person everyday for months, they were living with me at one point! Now he's gone and I feel alone. I really saw something with him and it pains me that now hes hurting and I can't help. He doesn't reach out to me anymore after I told him he didn't need to send snapchats out of obligation because we had a streak, so it expired. I never hear anything about me. I so desperately wish I could know if he still thinks about me, if he misses me, or even still cares. I had sent him a link on Snap Chat for an alternative treatment and he saved it. I sent him this watercolor picture on Instagram that essentially described what was going on with us. It was two people talking and was along the lines of "What can I do if even your voice can't reach me" "I'll still be here waiting". He hearted that as well.
I'm truly concerned about him. I ended up reaching out to one of his friends and they are already aware of his situation in full. His friend said that he fully understood how I felt and it was reasonable for me to reach out. He said that my ex is the kind of person that even if it would lighten his load, he would never want to burden me with his problems. That sometimes ones own emotional baggage prevents us from treating someone they way we want or how we think they deserve. He told me he wouldn't tell me to stop reaching out though, so I'm not sure how to take that.
I don't want to give up on him. He knows that I'm here for him fully, that I still love him and would do whatever he needed. It just hurts because I have no idea if I'll ever see or hear from him again. I went from being his favorite person to a complete stranger. I have no idea where I stand with him. I keep clinging to some hope that one day he'll wake up and realizes he misses me or that he wants to fight his demons. I really want to make it work, but he's lost in the void right now.
submitted by Blood_Noir to depression_partners [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 14:36 lyridsreign [AETHER][MIDGARDSORMR][FC][LFM] JOIN AZURE INFINITUM! An Active, Organized, and Friendly Community Awaits You! Welcoming Players Of All Experience, Availability, & Play-Style!

We are Azure Infinitum .
You may have seen us in the Aether data center's party finder or seen our recruitment shouts around the realm in-game, but there just isn't enough space in those places to really explain everything wonderful about what our Free Company is.
Azure Infinitum is an LGBTQ+ friendly community.
Here's some facts:
Who We Are
We are an established 5-year old community who's home is in Midgardsormr Server of Final Fantasy XIV. We are a structured, well-rounded, welcoming, friendly, and organized community that hosts daily events that provide opportunity for members to excel. We work to establish strong fellowships and camaraderie between our members. As a community we are driven, we carry each other forward, and we are proud.
Azure Infinitum means "Azure/Blue Infinity or Infinite Blue/Azure" and there is some mythos behind the name that stems from our guild-wide philosophy of kindness, freedom, vigilance, diversity and activity. We promote positive fellowship among members in an organized guild, with our sights open to our unending endless skies, full of possibility and success together.
Our motto is "As Free As The Azure Sky!" which stuck well when our FC was restructured from an old guild in 2014 as Azure was founded, and it was first shouted as we looked out at a clear blue sky above. has continued to be our electric victory as we continue to snowball in success and activity, our members soaring high through the Azure Sky, flying together!
Our community has an organized ranking structure beginning with Members who comprise the majority of the roster. Scouts are our support team of Members who've stepped up to more officially support the FC, some work on obtaining a future leadership rank. Lieutenants and Officers comprise the proud Azure Council, a diverse group of players of different specialties and services to the FC, making up lower and higher tier leadership, seeing over the Scouts and the FC weekly events, aside from being admins. The FC Infinitum Master oversees all and leads the Azure Council and the company forward while always keeping the heart and vision of the community alive and in sight. Currently we are re-assessing ranks in the free company, giving more support permissions and duties to our Scouts, while the current council operates as a small team of Lieutenants lead by the FC Master.
Everyone Who's Welcome and Who Fits Best
We have an open door policy. Whether you're casual, a returning player, a veteran, or a newbie, we have a vast array of players in our 320+ member roster. Our weekly schedule is organized and provides an array of activity for players of most levels, however we like to ask players who're pretty new or under lvl.50 to be extra vocal about their needs while they're still unable to attend daily events or higher level content that most of our weekly lineup focuses on. We want everyone to have as much fun as possible and have the most success. We find that most players enjoy Azure Infinitum, many have stated that they subscribed to FFXIV much longer than they ever would have imagined after they have been around and gotten involved and experienced all that we offer.
Our FC keeps a daily schedule of events that are hosted by permitted Scouts and Council ranks, these range from 8-man and 24-man raids and map parties, to WT journal groups and trial clear parties or farms, and more- and attending anything isn't mandatory at all here. We're happy to have you, and its up to our members how much they'd like to get involved.
We find that some hardcore raiders looking for statics who don't already have one, might not fit well if davage raiding is their only focus, because traditionally Azure does not have a Savage Static, but allows members to organize their own groups and also provides resources to do so. Despite not supporting an official static for the FC, we hope that hardcore raiders enjoy the wealth of our community's harmony and overall fun, and may take initiative to seek out or build a raiding static within our community. Depending on the content season, we may have an Unofficial static lead by an leader.
Because we are generally a PG-13 community (for the most part, see Rules Page at (http://azurefm.com), we find that rude individuals and people who create drama are the outsiders here that don't fit well.
People of Azure Infinitum are often positive players who found their way to our community looking for a place with structure, friendliness, organization, and great activity, or they've been scouted during recruitment drives and have been well screened. Its a place where one can be social and attend everything, or relax in the background and enjoy the services and facilities of being in an active, organized, and friendly FC.
Because we keep a no-drama policy and have a strong communication network, it is leadership's ultimate priority to handle any issues that may come up as soon as possible, and most people appreciate our problem solving which has inspired many other communities.
Our Philosophy
First and foremost- we have a no-drama policy. We choose people who agree with the philosophy that, "Video games should be fun and enjoyed together without drama" which is simple really, but anyone who agrees and upholds a decent attitude and respects our guidelines are welcome, and that's the only thing expected- upholding our general rules found at azureinfinitum.com.
We believe in our community and its people, how far we can go, how much we can do for each other, being an experienced community who's core values are positive fellowship, formation of bonds, and indomitable unity.
Azure Infinitum tightly grasps success and masters a casual and lucrative weekly play schedule while inspiring motivation and providing avenues for further success, friendships, and camaraderie among all who freely fly together among our Azure skies.
Founding on the principles of intricately forging a generally drama-free experience with keen leadership and a zealous and mighty membership, Azure has striven to guide and support hundreds through every era of Final Fantasy XIV.
With an illustrious history, company lore, impressive statistics, and a model that is adaptable and blessed with innovative ability, Azure Infinitum claims a dominant presence of excellence and player growth that is possible in our community and extended services.
Estate Organization
We have the entire set-up at our estate, from gardens for members and Krakka Root production (free for members' chocobos), to our stables, nicely uniform clean lawn with hangout spots that are popular, with crafting stations, all available NPCs for simple mats and repairs, cut-scene viewer, toybox, triple-triad board, a fully operational and geared fleet of airships and subs, and our Azure Infinitum Assembly Chamber on the top floor for our meetings where announcements are made at our Grand Assemblies. Check it out if you like at Mist Ward 7 Plot 1.
We also have an organized form of gathering for weekly events in the yard, places to relax, food that is always available on tables at our Cellar, and hold a lot of special events and social games at our Hall. We're also conveniently located next to a Market Board and a Retainer Bell outside of our estate.
Communication and Extended Azure Services
We have multiple services of which none are mandatory, but we provide being (azureinfinitum.com) where our Forums, Event Calendar, guild E-Magazine, News, Company Meeting Summaries, Seasonal Merch Giveaways, Contests, Rules Page, and more take place and can be found. We also have a popular and active Discord Server.
We also have a Facebook Group, Twitter, Tumblr, Instagram, PS Community, Steam Group, and Linkshells like our Infinitum Alliance LS for contact and aid from our allies if needed, our Azure Hunters LS for Hunters, and our Azure Industry LS which connects our members to our inner crafting/gathering community for newbies to pros.
Also worthy of mention is our big Company Meetings in-game, known as Azure Infinitum Grand Assemblies. Even though we have such nice ways and services that keep people connected, our live assemblies gather the FC in unity where announcements are made first, and all proposals, ideas, and more, can be decided together live with the Azure Council present.
This network ensures a lot of information and communication gets around and has been exceedingly useful to us.
Events
One part of our reputation that often precedes us is our event crafting and hosting.
First, let me make sure its clear that attendance is never mandatory, but those who can make use, when possible, of what we provide each day, benefit from our events each week.
Since our beginning, traditions like our Thursday Treasure Thursdays events have run each week. Our weekly line-up presently begins on Tuesdays post-weekly reset, and consists of Eden Tuesdays, Wondrous Wednesdays (WT Journal Parties, often doubles as Trial Clears and Pony Drops), Treasure Thursdays (timeworn Gazelleskin map parties that raid 24 maps per party and split gil with the FC Chest for our weekly fundraiser, is very lucrative for weekly attendees), 24-Man Fridays (full pre-formed Azure 24-member alliances are made and raids are cleared, returns in Jan for Ivalice Pt.3), Eureka Weekly Meetup (For Anemos, Pagos, and Pyros presently), Alphascape Catchup Sundays (for folks who didn't get their loot all week yet or still need clears), and Monstrous Mondays (helps clear ARR, HW, and SB trials for members.) Friday Morning Classics runs older raid clears and farms every Friday morning.
Special, Custom Seasonal, and Quarterly Events
We also have what we call Special and Quarterly Events. These types of events are Weekend-Long-Events that usually consist of a theme or celebratory social events we craft. During these events we hold big Riddle Races, Costume/Glamour shows and contests, 3-Story Mansion Maze Races, Speedrun Dungeon Races, Hide and Seek games, Custom Quest Events, Discord events like Cards Against Humanity nights, Comedy events, PVP Tournament Circuits, and more.
Our Special and Quarterly events are Azure Day Weekend (Takes place 3 times a year across a weekend, celebrates the FC), Azure Summer Festival (3-days at the end of August in partnership with Child's Play, raises money for children in long-term care, anniversary of historic FC event called the Lunar Rebellion), Anniversary Azure Day (a big weekend event in November that celebrates our Founding), Azure Day Saint's Wake (celebrates Halloween/All Saint's Wake), Azure Starlight Day (celebrating Starlight Day/Christmas/December Holiday Season), Azure Grand Melee and Duel Tournaments (PVP Circuit series crowning our PVP Champions) and more.
Azure Day Weekends
If you've been around our server you may have heard of our Azure Day Weekends. Our Azure Days take place quarterly as mentioned just above, with four evolved editions called Azure Summer Festival, Azure Day Saint's Wake, Azure Starlight Day, and Anniversary Azure Day. With Azure Day Weekends and related events traditionally occuring in February, May, August, October, November, and December, our members are always excited to see the next big weekend of crazy and fun social games, and our showering of the free company in gil and prizes galore. We go all out when we celebrate the free company, and Azure Days are another way we find for leadership to give back to the community.
We're always giving our members a chance to have fun, win big, and make some great memories in the in-game family we've become.
Community
I almost can't stress enough how friendly our community is. We have a vast variety of members from hardcore gatherers and crafters, social butterflies, chill veterans, experienced raiders, level grinders, support teams, PVP aficionados, mechanic specialists, and mentors. We're also very friendly to all casual players as well and we keep an open door so long as recruits are always aware that we have a no-drama tolerance here.

Evolution into a Gaming Clan
Plans are in the works and foundations are being laid that is slowly turning our community into a larger gaming network, with our first established Azure Branch with regular occurring activity being founded in Monster Hunter World. Becoming a member of our Free Company now means access to things like our huge discord, Azure Branch membership in other games, and being able to join in on any of our other activities in the general community. Azure Network as its being called at the moment, launches in 2020 with an all-new website and community features for playing together across Final Fantasy XIV and to Azure Skies beyond.
Our current Branch activity includes weekly Monster Hunter World (PS4) "Hunt-A-Thon" events occuring every Monday at 7e/6c/4p.

Activity
We rank high as one of the top FC's in Worldwide Activity on lodestone, and have for a long time. Most of our players are divided between the US East and West Coasts, members in East and West Canada, and a few outside the US or in EU or Aus zones. Because we do have an activity policy (mentioned below) we keep a standard flow of people, and have crowds in the early morning, late morning, early afternoon, afternoon, evening, and late night crowds.
Our community really can be a broad range of characters, great personalities, the proud, and also some silly goofs. We're always welcoming towards fresh faces interested in joining our guild, and the activity ranges between 30-50+ online at once during prime time hours, sometimes around 70+ on patch days, and usually always with half the roster logging in throughout a 24 hour period, and around 15-30+ during the night.
Activity Policy
We ask that our members do not go missing without logging in for more than 60 days straight. If we hear word from someone or have some kind of excuse, we place our members on our On Vacation rank, which lasts presently until 180 days have passed. Exceptions are made for military deployments, hospital stays, financial issues, disability/health related issues, moving, or other reasons that might fall on a case-by-case basis.
All members not heard from in 60 days (roughly 2 months) or currently 180 days (roughly 4 months) are discharged. We allow 3 joins to Azure Infinitum in total, but exceptions can be made due to reasons listed above.
Keeping our roster full of members who have been online and presently play the game actively ensures an active environment for our players who play often. It also keeps our credits and clerical processes balanced across our network, and allows space for new faces to join our big happy in-game family of comrades.
Check out our [Website](azureinfinitum.com) if you'd like to get an idea of our community. Also if interested our [rules](azurefm.com/pages/rules) is here.
How to Join
If you are interesting in joining Azure Infinitum, please register an application at our site and/or FC in-game. You can also seek any of our Scouts, Lieutenants, Officers, or the Master of Azure Infinitum in-game and ask for an invite. You can find their names on the roster page at our website.
If you read everything on this page, you are awesome, and you should let anyone you talk to who recruits you that you read everything on this page which will greatly expedite your invitation to join.
If you have any questions whatsoever feel free to send a /tell in-game to me or any of our Scouts or Lieutenants listed on our official roster here: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/freecompany/9232519973597911137/membe
You can also message us at our FB Page: https://www.facebook.com/AzureInfinitum
Discord here: https://discord.gg/KXbHuwQ
Twitter: https://twitter.com/azureinfinitum
Insta: https://www.instagram.com/azure_infinitum/
Community Site: http://azurefm.com/
Main Site: https://www.azureinfinitum.com/
submitted by lyridsreign to FFXIVRECRUITMENT [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 06:53 rishiss A /r/cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

A /cscareerquestions College Survival Guide

With our final school year beginning, we were reflecting on how lost and confused we were when we first started university. We made a lot of mistakes (still am) along the way, but we’re in a much better place after learning from them and constantly putting ourselves out there. In hopes of shining some light and helping others, we decided to make a comprehensive guide for university students – based on our knowledge/experiences - on how to start your successful CS Career (or gain the wisdom to avoid CS altogether, more on this later).
rishiss Background: I am a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Software Engineering. I am an incoming Software Engineer at a F100 company (received return offer after interning this summer). Before that, I interned at an R & D center for space, a small cloud company, and a small IT company. I have a 3.65 GPA, won a few awards at startup competitions/hackathons, and remain pretty active in my schools CS organizations.
chaitu65c Background: I’m a 4th year student at UC Irvine majoring in Computer Science. I’m currently a SWE Intern at a Unicorn and just wrapped up my 2nd internship at a Live Streaming Company(you can most likely tell who they are if you browse my history LOL). Before this, I interned at my school’s IT department, did research under a professor, and worked on a few small startups that other UCI students were building. I have a 3.3 GPA, won some awards along rishiss and was pretty active in my school’s CS clubs.
Disclaimer: “But rishiss/ and chaitu65c, you don’t work at a Big N, go to a target CS school, why should I take your advice?” You’re absolutely right; we are, by no means, ‘up there’ like some other folks on this sub. And, you don’t have to take our advice! Simply close this tab and do whatever else you want 😊. Our intent is to guide and prepare uni students for a CS career they enjoy, not work at Big N or get the highest TC. Life is much more than a dick-measuring contest, and the earlier you learn that the better.
We have also created a guide with our own personal advice/stories

Please, take this advice with a grain of salt. we’re not Tony Robinson or Tim Apple, we’re just two random reddit users.

Table of Contents:

This guide is divided into the following sections:

Is CS Right For Me?

The way we see it, there’s 3 types of people pursuing CS.
  1. Those who know CS isn’t for them – They’re in it for the money, to appease their parents, for a minorequirement, some external factor. They hated programming while taking the introductory CS course and just try to get done with their class/degree ASAP.
Advice: The majority of people who fall under this usually burn out quickly, as they aren’t motivated enough to learn the material and to apply themselves. This usually leads to them cheating and getting kicked out of their major, minor, or university altogether. Even if you manage to earn a degree, we've seen a large number of these folks endure a 'pre-mature' mid-life crisis or simply get fired from their jobs. Before you even start this major, you should definitely understand that this isn’t going to be easy, and you do have to put in a lot of effort to succeed. If this isn’t your cup of tea, definitely look into switching into another major you like.
Some folks are really passionate about technology, but don't want to pursue an entire Computer Science major or see themselves as Software Engineers. That's completely ok! Try looking into related majors or minors. We know many students who switched from CS to majors like Informatics, Business Information Management, and Economics and are thriving in tech-related roles like Data Analytics, Product Management, UI/UX Design, and Technical Recruiting. CS is not (and should not be) for everyone, and there is no shame in having the wisdom quit and move on.
  1. Those who don’t know if CS is for them – Where most of the CS community is IMO. These folks (like me, rishiss) are riddled with something called Imposter Syndrome: “the constant feeling of not being good enough or knowing enough to do your job well.”
Advice: For students, really take the time to learn and be open to anything you go through. Try sticking it out until you've taken a Data Structures course, one of the harder, more important courses out there. If you're not understanding the material or just aren't having fun with it, it’s definitely ok to switch majors/careers. Otherwise, CS just might be the career for you! Give it your best shot!
Admittedly, it's hard to provide stronger insight to overcoming Imposter Syndrome, as I am afflicted by it as well. For me, my IS derives from constantly comparing myself to others and confusing inexperience with incompetency. As such, I continue to work and focus on myself and take baby steps towards smaller goals I set out for myself. Knowing that I've put the effort to improve myself by just 1% everyday has made me a lot more confident.
  1. Those who know for a fact CS is for them – The diamonds in the rough. Learning and practicing CS material gives them a euphoric high.
Advice: Broaden your scope and learn new areas of CS! Who knows, you might find another new field that you really want to work in. Other than that, definitely make new friends regardless of whether they’re a CS major or not. Even try pursuing other hobbies like weightlifting, reading, dancing, or even public speaking. Don't limit yourself!

Freshman Year

We recommend not taking more than 3-4 classes in your first quartesemester, as you shouold keep an ample amount of time to go to professional/social events, make new friends and hang out with them, and pursue your interests.
We've seen a lot of freshmen (and upperclassmen) CS folks get cooped up in their dorm rooms playing video games and watching TV. We understand that these two are a passion for many, but please be cautious to not get consumed by them.
You have the privilege of pursuing higher education, making valuable connections/memories, and setting up your CS career in the trajectory you want. This year is the best year to take advantage of all that university has to offer; make the most of it.
One of the best ways to get involved in your school’s/region’s CS community is by joining clubs like ACM and WICS and participating in hackathons (see ‘Hackathon’ section below). Try pursuing internships and positions in these organizations and events as well!
One, major issue we see with freshmen (even upperclassmen) is their ignorance on all the avenues available in the CS Industry. So we’ve tried to narrow it down (not exhaustive).
  1. Cyber Security Engineer
  2. Front-End Web Developer
  3. Backend Web Developer
  4. UI/UX Designer
  5. DevOps/Cloud/Site-Reliability Engineers
  6. Mobile Engineer
  7. QA Engineer
  8. Product Manager
  9. Data Scientist (Machine Learning/AI)
  10. Embedded Software Engineer
  11. Systems Administrator
  12. Database Administrator (The Wizards)
  13. Networking Engineer
  14. Hardware Engineer
  15. OS Developer
  16. Video Game Developer
  17. Solutions Architect/Sales EngineeTechnical Account Manager
As a freshman, definitely take the time and see if you can picture yourself doing any of the listed fields. You should open yourself to all facets of CS and not just the “hot field” like Data Science and Machine Learning. Choosing a field because it’s “exciting” will usually lead to bad results as usually, other people are thinking just like you and will lead to over-saturation.
Our recommendation is to select the top 5 fields that have piqued your interest and experiment with the field. For example, if you are interested in Mobile App Development, try learning how to build an Android app from the ground up. A simple weather app or alarm clock is completely suitable for a first project/prototype. This lets you understand what skills you would need for this field and can serve as a forecast as to what your career would look like.
You should definitely look for an internship. Ignore the people that tell you to wait until you’re a junior, as it’s going to be very hard to get an internship if you don’t have any experience. Common places that most students don’t realize are available are usually IT departments at your school and even research with professors. Researching is highly recommended as you can definitely learn more about a field you can be interested in and if you’re interested in graduate school, that’s going to be a letter of recommendation that you can ask for.
If you’re considered a minority in Computer Science, look into first and second year internship programs as they’re meant to help you succeed. Here’s some programs that come to mind:
Google STEP
Microsoft Explore
Amazon Future Engineer
Uber STARInternhip
Facebook University
Another way to get internships is to research into smaller companies in your area. If the company is very small (<100 employees), consider reaching out to the CEO on LinkedIn. They might be able to help you! Also, take advantage of university recruiting websites like Handshake to see companies that directly hire from your school. More info on how to get an internship in the ‘Searching for an Internship’ section.

Sophomore Year

Now that you have basic programming knowledge, create your own website or GitHub account and start contributing to them with small personal projects. Nobody expects you to make a full-stack MERN project hosted and scaled on AWS at this stage. Focus instead on clean code, learning a framework or two on a language you like, and creating a small, robust feature. Grow from there!
If you weren’t able to find an internship/research opportunity as a freshman, community involvement, projects, and hackathons become especially important, as they are a great way to make you stand out on your resume and to recruiters when you reapply. As you brush up on your skills, apply again, and try your luck out.

Data Structures and Algorithms

In addition, you are most likely to take a Data Structures and Algorithms course this year. Make sure you are focusing on this class and writing good notes; you will need this knowledge when interviewing for internships and full-time jobs in the near future. Here is a link to our DS and A course (in C++) for reference

Junior Year

As a junior, companies are more willing to hire you for an internship, as they are likely to convert you into a full-time employee after graduating. This transition process is much easier than interviewing, and they'll usually offer you a higher compensation package if they want to convert you to a full-time employee. As you now should have knowledge of Data Structures and Algorithms, we highly recommend looking into coding interview prep sites like LeetCode and HackerRank or purchasing a prep book like CTCI or EPI (advanced).
Continue to attend hackathons, remain active in clubs/organizations, and grow your portfolio.
Classes will be much harder; expect the time for completing projects to double and the content covered to be much more difficult. We recommend taking no more than 2-3 upper-division CS courses and balancing your load with 1-2 GE classes. You should not be taking more than 16 units (assuming 4 units per course).
Start to get an idea of what field in CS you would like to pursue. Research what it takes to be successful in that field. You can do so by looking up job postings with that title on LinkedIn and looking at the requested skill set or take a look at Roadmap.sh. If you want to learn more about a related skill set and your school doesn't offer a course, consider picking up a class on udemy.com.

Senior Year

Focus heavily on your senior capstone, project classes, etc. as they're the last thing you can put on your resume before applying for full time. By now, you should have at least 3 polished, working projects on your GitHub that you can easily talk about with your recruiter. Preferably, they're aligned with the CS field you wish to enter.
If you were able to get a return offer from an internship, congrats! However, don’t immediately sign the offer. Once you have an offer, you should still try to interview at companies that you’re interested in by the deadline of the time to accept the offer. A good way of doing this is to reach out to a University recruiter for that company and explain the deadline you have. Usually, they’re really helpful and can potentially help skip interviews that you were supposed to do!
In addition, if your friends were able to intern at places you’re interested in, definitely ask for a referral or to send your resume to their recruiter. This usually reduces the risk of being ghosted by that company and increases your chances of getting hired!
Once you finally sign, definitely take the time to relax and enjoy. Just make sure you pass your classes and stay out of trouble

Classes:

What Classes should I take?

Should Already be Required:

Must Take:

Good to Have

How do I succeed in these classes?

rishiss: You’re more than likely coughing up hundreds, if not thousands, to attend university. It makes no sense to not take full advantage of the course and course staff.
The way I take notes: I learn from examples; I want to enter my code into the IDE to see what happens. I do a three way split; Google Docs on the left, IDE on top right and terminal (to compile, see output, make new file, etc) on bottom left. I note down the date and topic of the lecture and write questions I have in the comments on Docs. I make sure to highlight important information and possible test questions. I even share the link with friends!

In the quarters where I followed the steps above, I never got a grade lower than an A-.

Dealing with Bad Professors

During your time in college, you’re likely going to have at least one bad professor that might make it worse if you have to go to class. If that’s the case, it’s definitely fine to not go to class (as long as it’s not mandatory). However, if you do decide not to go, you must make sure you learn the material, so you won’t be behind on the coursework and studying for tests. In addition, you should be doing something productive on the side. If you don’t go to class and spend the time watching Netflix or playing video games, you’re losing time that you can spend on something that might be fun and can help you in the long run.

You can take Graduate Courses!?

chaitu65c: A highly underutilized set of courses you can take would be graduate courses. Graduate courses are usually very specialized in certain fields. If you were able to take all the undergraduate courses you wanted and still have spare classes to fill out, I'd recommend researching into taking Graduate courses! They’re a good way to build out your specialization and learn new, cool stuff! In addition, if you’re looking for classes to reach the required number of CS courses needed, your CS department might allow you to make the course count towards your degree!

Projects

They're super important.

How do I succeed in class projects?

Personal Projects and your CS Career

rishiss: Projects are your saving grace, especially if you are lacking work experience. They show technical aptitude, willingness to take initiative, and leadership. I’ve seen people with only projects on their resume get positions at the Big N. Projects are good ways to expand your knowledge of CS as the possibilities are endless! It is best to have a variety of projects dealing with a variety of technologies. As such, you can open yourself up to more positions and have more talking points during the interview.
I tend to edit the ‘Project’ Section of my resume with relevant projects and technologies. For instance, if I made a full stack web application and applied to a DevOps organization, I would highlight my AWS, CI/CD, and Terraform experiences more than my React/Node js work.
It is recommend the project is about something that motivates you and are passionate about e.g. video games, movies, books, sports, etc., as it is very easy to give up half way due to stress or lack of motivation/interest.
Like anything else in Computer Science, projects require you to break it down into smaller pieces. Start with the end in mind and draw out the intended architecture/functionalities. Start with what you know and research on the parts you don't know after that. You will be using these skills often in industry for any project/feature planning.
Spending 15-30 minutes a day is all you need to make a successful personal project. Don't make excuses and get coding!

Open Source Contributions

If you’ve ever noticed popular github repositories such as torvalds/linux, these are repositories where people from all over the world can report issues with it and someone can fix it. If you are able to make a contribution to a huge open source repository, it looks really good on your resume.

Hackathons

What are Hackathons?

Hackathons are large scale coding events, where students from around the area come together and collaborate - usually in teams of 4 (but you can go solo or with a partner!) - to build some software. Companies like Amazon, Northrop Grumman, Google, and Twilio sponsor awards related to best use of their technology. After 24 - 48 hours of intensive coding, participants submit their projects, whether it be an Android video game, Chrome Extension, productivity web app, etc. Submissions are shared with the companies and other hackathon organizers, where they select the best projects and award teams with swag like keyboards, gift cards, and even summer internships at their company.
Participating in hackathons are one of the best ways to hone your coding skills, network with companies and other students, and get free comfy T-shirts. It is also one of the best ways to gain industry knowledge, as representatives from these companies and hackathon organizers create numerous workshops and answer any questions you may have. Winning awards at these hackathons are also great resume boosters and talking points during interviews.
The biggest hackathon organizer is Major League Hacking. Visit their website, and you can see all the hackathons (remote or local) they are partnered with. Make to be on the lookout for application release dates from the hackathons and apply early.
With Covid, you may miss out on the free goodies and the in-person networking with students and professionals. However, most hackathons are accepting many more applicants due to it being virtual/remote this year.

What Should I Do At Hacakathons?

Take advantage of the resources available at hackathons. You’re attending a mini CS conference and should be, besides coding, networking with professionals, learning about the different companies, attending workshops, asking technical/non-technical questions to mentors, and getting as much free shit as you can get. Besides T-Shirts, companies give out vouchers to their services, applications to their internship and full-time positions, pillows, notebooks, water bottles, sweaters, and even backpacks.
If you’re looking to get an award, judges at hackathons care a lot about the pitch and the idea rather than the actual execution of the idea. Having an idea beforehand is also helpful, so you can spend your time focusing on the MVP.

Friends and Networking

chaitu65c: I think it’s definitely useful if you have two different friend groups: One dedicated to career and Non-Career Group.
Career Group - When making a friend group dedicated to career, try to be the dumbest person in the group, you’re definitely going to learn a lot from them as you soak up knowledge! Best ways of meeting friends who are career-driven can be through major specific orientation (actually how I met rishiss), courses, major related clubs, etc.
Non-Career Group - While having a group that motivates you for your career is important, it’s also important to have another friend group that can help you relax and to enjoy your time! A really good way to find these friend groups can be anywhere from your hall to General Education courses, social clubs like Circle K, fraternities/ sororities(if that’s your cup of tea) and others!
This is what has worked for us; no need to follow this exact format.

Resume

rishiss: Here are the few take-aways on writing a resume that gets through the ATS.

Searching for Internships

Searching for internships in CS is really different and harder from searching for internships in other professions. CS internship interview processes are often longer and much more technical on what you have learned as a CS major. We've prepped 2-3 months beforehand on CS concepts, whiteboarding, etc.

Timeline

This timeline primarily focuses on large, non-government/defense companies or competitive startups. This also assume you are applying for a summer internship.
August - September: Applications are opened to the public. Make sure to look out for positions and apply early, as most companies admit students on a rolling basis. A site that we used often is Apply.fyi. After applying, you may receive an automated (< 48 hours) invitation to complete an Online Assessment, consisting of multiple choice and/or coding questions about Data Structures, Algorithms, and Run Time Complexity. You will have usually 1-2 weeks to complete the assessment. Please that you may be rejected if you are not able to pass 90% of the questions on the assessment: Please also note that you may be instantly rejected due to things out of your control like years of experience, cancellation of internship, internal corporate issues, and more. Don't take rejections too seriously; just keep applying!
October - November: After passing the resume screen and the OA, you will be contacted by the company's recruiter for a phone screen. During the screen, you will probably be asked a few confirmation questions about your resume, sponsorship, years of experience with X, etc. and minor behavioral questions like what made you apply for this position, what are you pursuing outside of class, etc. You may also receive questions about your CS fundamentals e.g. what is a hashtable, whats the difference between a process and a thread, what is the runtime complexity of sorting a string, etc. As long as you're cool and confident (and not cringe/edgy), this part should be a breeze.
November - Mid January: If you made it through the two Thanos snaps, you will be invited to an onsite “Power-Day,” where interviewees attend 2-4 whiteboard interviews while being grilled on their technical skills and projects. Some companies make applicants go through a panel interview, where a team of 2-5 Software Engineers grill you on technical questions and your resume. You are often pampered with free travel, food, stipends, etc.
December - February: If you were deemed a good fit by the hiring committee, you will be extended an offer to intern at the company during the upcoming summer for 10-12 weeks. Remember, nothing is final until you receive an offer letter in your inbox. Some companies may also place you on a wait-list and offer you a spot if someone were to reject their offer letter.
For government orgs, defense companies, and smaller organizations, the recruiting season starts in February/March and usually ends in April and May. After applying online and passing the resume screen, you will usually be immediately pushed to an on-site interview. Most likely, you will be interviewing with your future boss/co-worker.
Please note that internships are not only offered in the summer, they are provided in the Fall, Winter, and Spring (rare) as well. The competition for these internships is usually lower, and the process usually starts 3-4 months beforehand.

How to get the Interview

Besides following resume tips, make sure to apply to as many places as you can. To get our first internships, we recall applying to approximately 250-300 places before we secured our internship plans for that summer. Also, if you do get ghosted, don’t take it personally, usually, university recruiters often spend so much time reviewing a lot of applications.
Other precautions to take to get noticed are to try attending career fairs if you can, you might be able to get an interview(worst case, free swag!). Other than that, try reaching out to upperclassmen or friends you know that interned and ask for referrals. It’s one of the best ways to get noticed!

What to expect

As part of the interview process, there’s 4 types of interviews that you should make sure you know.
Behavioral Interview: These interviews ask you questions about culture fit such as “Why are you a good candidate” and “Tell me about a time when you ...”
Coding/Technical Interview: These interviews ask you questions similar to what you see on Leetcode and Hackerrank. These interviews are designed to test your Data Structures and Algorithms knowledge.
System Design: System Design involves the interviewer testing your building to design a service/software and test your knowledge of understanding what things to use for the task and how you will integrate them together. You’re definitely not expected to know this and it’s not likely you’re gonna get asked this. Places that could ask you this are Unicorns, Trading Companies and Hedge Funds, and Big Established Companies.
Concurrency/Low Level Interviews: If the company’s biggest product involves low level principles such as networking principles and kernel stuff, there’s a possibility you can get asked this. Places that come to mind are hardware companies and trading firms.
Some companies may adopt only one of these interviews and some may adopt all.

How to Ace the Interview

It’s highly recommended that you look up the interview experiences that other students have faced so that you can potentially filter out companies with red flags and know what questions to expect. Common sources to search up on this would be Reddit (csMajors and cscareerquestions), Jumpstart (Relatively new portal for students), Glassdoor and maybe Blind (Aside from the toxic TC or GTFO culture, they do give good advice on interviews). With that said, here’s some advice we have when you approach each kind of interview we’ve seen.

Advice on Behavioral Interviews

Use the STAR method when describing your experiences. Being quantifiable with the impact of your actions will impress the interviewer.

Advice on Technical Interviews

Begin by reviewing your notes from the Data Structures and Algorithms class. Do not proceed further until you know how to implement these DS and As from scratch with the language of your choice(If you do know python, it’s recommended as there’s a lot of builtin features!). After doing so, we highly recommend a book like CTCI and EPI to gain a review on programming language details and your DS and As. Then, visit sites like LeetCode to practice real questions from major companies. A Facebook Engineer completed 600 LC problems and compiled the most important ones into a list here. During the interview, make sure to talk out loud about possible approaches and tradeoffs before whiteboarding. It is perfectly acceptable (often recommended) to ask the interviewer to ask questions about the problem and get clarification. Once you have an idea in mind and have talked about it with your interviewer, begin whiteboarding. While you talk about the final idea you want to use, write out pseudo code and comments about all the steps you need to implement in order to finish coding your solution. After that, start coding. Make sure to have proper function headers, syntax, spacing, classes/structs, imports, etc. After coding your solution, give a brief explanation and attempt to make it run with less space and in less time (if your solution is not as efficient as you think it can be).

Advice on System Design

These are somewhat hard to approach if you don’t have experience ever doing it. If you do have experience designing and building services in your spare time and as part of your work experience, definitely rely on your experience. An important thing is to definitely ask clarifying questions. There might be hidden requirements you didn’t think about that could drastically change the way you approach the solution.

Advice on Concurrency/Low level

Understand basic principles such as Processes vs Threads (A lot of people don’t know the difference!)TCP vs UDP and how to make an application thread safe. Other than that, it’s recommended that you familiarize yourself with basic OS concepts such as Deadlocks, locks that you can utilize to make an application thread safe, etc.

Searching for Full Time Jobs:

The big bucks.
The process for finding a Full-Time Job is usually very similar to finding an Internship. There’s three main differences are:
  1. Harder Questions. Ex: Google usually asks Leetcode Mediums to Hards + the special Leetcode Hard question that Google asks it’s applicants (they create a new one every year).
  2. More Rounds of Interviewing: For example, Microsoft makes interns do 2 rounds while New Grads do 4 rounds during the onsite part of the process.
  3. Compensation: Interns usually get an hourly rate and, possibly, a housing stipend. New grads, however, are given a yearly salary and, possibly, a sign-on bonus, stocks, and benefits e.g. health insurance, vacation days, etc.
The process for finding a Full-time Job won’t really change as much as finding an internship, but keep in mind that the bar is higher. This is probably the biggest reason why you should look into interning early; by getting an offer at the place you like, you don’t need to go through the daunting process of finding a full-time role.
Get as many offers as you can this time around, so you can negotiate and select the position, company, compensation, and location that works best for you.

Negotiation

Negotiation is a really powerful tool that you can use in the interview process, even as an intern. There’s a lot of guides to negotiation and we recommend Nick Singh’s guide (Look at his LinkedIn and newsletters) for more.

Final Thoughts

University is a probably the most important time of your life and a foundational block of your CS Career. Like any foundation, it must be sturdy and takes a tremendous amount and energy of time to develop. Take advantage of all the resources (like this one) you can get your hands on. Definitely learn from the mistakes people have made and make sure you don’t repeat the same mistakes.
‘Stay hungry. Stay foolish’ - Steve Jobs
submitted by rishiss to cscareerquestions [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 00:44 Academic-Degree-6858 Broke up with my boyfriend because he realized he wants children and I'm scared I'll never find someone else. Can people give me success stories or just tell me that I'm being silly please?

So my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up recently. I had brought up the kids thing early on because I really can't give my heart to someone if I know it's going to end. (I respect if people want to have a fun thing with someone without needing to have the possibility of long term commitment, it's just not for me.) We're still in undergrad and so when he said he doesn't know but could probably be happy either way, that was good enough for now. Obviously I wished he could be sure but, I mean, we're really young so it's understandable that he hadn't really thought about it, so a "maybe" was going to be good enough for now. Obviously I could't know that we'd end up together in the long term yet, but the possibility had to at least be there for me to really be invested.
Anyway, he recently realized that he wants kids eventually. And yeah, it's not something he'd be doing for several years, but like I said I just can't be invested in something that has an expiration date, and he feels the same way. It's really painful for both of us, and he's even been confused about his decision thinking "maybe you're just more important" but we both know that that's objectively not true and it's not something you can compromise on like that.
So yeah, I know it's ultimately for the best and I know that relatively speaking, we're incredibly lucky that this happened now and not five years down the line. This is just a really bad time for me because Corona stuff makes it harder to hang out with friends (though we've still been doing distant park hangouts and zoom movies and stuff, but obviously it's still harder, especially because my state is on fire right now so most of the time the air quality isn't even good enough to go outside for long periods of time) and there have been health issues in my family recently and I have anxiety disorder so I was already doing poorly mentally BEFORE all this, and we just started the new semester, and I digress but that's just to give you an idea of where my head is at.
So I am not by ANY means a believer in the concept of soul mates or the idea that there is only one person out there for you. I know there's other people out there for me. I'm just worried about the practical logistics of how to find them. I know (hopefully?) that it's irrational to think that I'll never meet someone else in real life who I'm compatible with, but it's really hard for me to shut down my worries with rational thought. So basically I was hoping that you guys could tell me that I'm being dumb and I obviously will be able to find another romantic partner. (It's not that I can't be single for a while, I don't need to be in a relationship to feel whole, but I would like to eventually make my way to a lifelong romantic relationship at some point.) I don't really get how people meet romantic partners in the "real adult world," when you're not in constant proximity with people just as a result of being in school or college. And not wanting kids feels like it'll make it so much harder.
I've been telling myself that if I don't come across someone naturally in the course of my life, there's always online dating eventually. It's not that I consider myself above that at all, but what worries me about that is that I feel like I can't really just get to know people through dates, if that makes sense. I kind of need to just be in casual proximity with someone for a while in order to really know if I feel attracted to them and compatible with them. I can't determine whether I feel a "spark" from like a couple dates, I need more time to see if there's chemistry there. I hope I'm making sense, I feel like this is a poor explanation, but anyway. Is it possible to get to know people more slowly if you met them online, and to say that you'd like to casually get to know each other first before really "dating," or do most people in online dating expect that you'll just start going on dates and move at that certain pace? It's not like I need a ton of time before that, but I'd like a couple of months or so. What I like about the concept of online dating is you can just put the kind of relationship development that you'd like in the profile and weed out people who aren't compatible with that, but does what I'm describing sound realistic?
I'm sorry about such a mess of text, I hope I'm making sense. I'm just really stressed about so many different things and I'd like reassurance that being childfree (and my other preferences for dating) doesn't mean I won't find love again. I've been seeking support from my friends and they're amazing, but since they're my age they obviously can't give me personal experiences about dating in the "real world" as a childfree person. So I'm hoping for some sort of reassurance, and maybe some success stories from some of you who have found love. I often see posts about how people had to break up with their SOs because of incompatibility about kids, so I'd really appreciate the other side of it. Any kind of practical advice would really help too, or reassurances about the real life logistics of all this. Thanks to anyone who responds.
submitted by Academic-Degree-6858 to childfree [link] [comments]


2020.09.17 00:18 FoxBeach Sullivan is actually a terrible suspect for the Bates crime, much less being The Zodiac Killer

A lot of people in the community think Ross Sullivan is the most likely killer of Cheri Jo Bates.
I've spent a couple days reading all the old and original posts about Sullivan at the major Zodiac forums and message boards. It's fascinating to see how information gets exaggerated and twisted (or left out) over the years.
The majority of "facts" the pro-Sullivan people share come from a letter written by a librarian who had a personal beef against Sullivan.
Below are a few things I pulled from the various topics on the other sites. I'm not citing each one specifically. You should go read them all yourself, it's pretty entertaining and informative.
It's funny how many people say they "like" Sullivan for the Bates crime, but aren't sure if he is the Zodiac or not. If you look at the actual real evidence about the Bates crime.....Sullivan is actually a pretty horrible suspect.
**Sullivan was either 6-foot-2 or 6-foot-3 inches tall. And at the time of one of his arrests in the late 60s, he weighed 300 pounds. Just let that resonate for a second. 6-foot-3 and 300 pounds. If you compile all the witness estimates of the Zodiac, you get a 5-foot-9 guy who weight 190 pounds. Do you think anybody would see a dude who is 6-foot-3 and 300 pounds and think "I'd guess this guy is maybe 5-9 and around 200 pounds." Bottom line, Sullivan is way too big to be the zodiac killer. Way too big.
**Fouke dismissed ALA as a suspect saying the man he saw was about 100 pounds lighter. Wasn't ALA about 250-260? If 260 pounds is 100 too much.....and Sullivan weighed in at 300 pounds......
**Some people say Ross was at the library the night Bates was murdered. The police were able to talk with every person that was there (except a couple, who clearly weren't Sullivan), They fingerprinted every single person. Fingerprinted every single person. They have Ross's fingerprints.
**Or was he there? He was supposedly working that night. But did anybody report to the police "hey, that big scary creepy smelling dude was there."
**BIG ONE - Ross didn't disappear for "weeks" after the crime. This is a huge myth that gets spread as fact. Ross was gone for a couple of days. He was interviewed by the police a couple days after the murder. Why is this a big deal? Because the police are confident that Bates was able to deliver scratches to her attacker's face. The police interviewed Sullivan a couple days after the attack and didn't see any scratches. This is huge and destroys the narrative that Sullivan disappeared for weeks to let the scratches on his face heal.
**Ross was a part-time worker, who literally worked one-hour shifts at the library. So this notion that he mysteriously disappeared for weeks is silly. Maybe the dude had a couple days off.
**NOT ONLY THAT - but police felt he had a credible alibi. It's easy, 50 years later to say "But the police didn't say who his alibi was. So that means it isn't credible. Sullivan is guilty!!!!" Police believed his alibi. Why don’t you?
**Police found the assailant’s hair underneath Bates fingernails. Guess what? They deduced it was from a beard. Sullivan had no beard. And, the hair color didn't match Sullivan's hair color.
**Fuckin-A man. Isn't that enough? They investigated him. Found no scratches. Hair color didn't match, Sullivan had no beard. And he had a credible alibi. What more do you want.
**People say the police were only looking at BB as a suspect, so they ignored everybody else. This is a 100% false narrative at the time. The detectives didn't go all-in on BB until more than a YEAR after the crime. They investigated everybody they thought was a potential suspect. Including Sullivan. Once they cleared suspects and worked their investigation....then they keyed in on BB.
**Ross was a giant, 6-foot-3 and 300 pounds. Bates was a petite young woman. The crime scene shows that an epic battle took place. Unless that little girl was a trained MMA fighter, no chance she held her own against a man who probably weighed three times more than her and was almost a foot taller.
**"his own brother thought was the Zodiac." Well....maybe. We didn't get a statement from the brother saying that. Another guy said that the brother told him. I tend to be skeptical unless hearing information straight from the horse's mouth. Don Cheney told us what ALA "told" him.....do you believe him? Also, we did hear from Sullivan's other brother who said there was no way that Ross was a killer or the zodiac killer. And, another family member said the brother #1 was a "sick" person who had his own issues
**The librarian who said that Ross was scary and creepy....also said that Ross was always hanging out at with other students at the popular college hangout spots. And that he was often seen with "pretty girls." I wonder how often pretty college girls hang out with "scary and creepy guys who smell really bad."
**That librarian also had a personal beef with Ross. She said that one of the supervisors had developed a friendship with Ross and let him "get away" with things she didn't allow from other staff. The librarian was also mad that all these "pretty girls" would spend time with Ross. So maybe we shouldn't take her word as gospel.
**Nothing the librarian submitted was actual physical evidence. Saying somebody is creepy, scary, smelling and changed their clothes........
**Watch and shoe sizes can vary and there are exceptions to every rule. But let's just take the obvious and OR. And yes, I know. You are 7-foot-3 and wear a size 6 shoe and have tiny wrists. But you are the one in a thousand exception. A six-foot-3 man who was described as "stocky" isn't going to wear a watch that fits a 7-inch wrist Also, nobody ever said they saw Sullivan wearing that type of watch before.
**The shoe imprints outside the library were reported as being between 8-to-10 inches. The average shoe size for a 6-foot-2 man is size 12.5. For a 6-foot-3 man it's 13.5. The shoe imprints at the crime might be from a size 8 shoe. We aren't talking an inch or two variation. Size 13.5 to size 8.....
**The shoe imprints were from military style dress shoes. Not wing walkers. Just as an FYI
**"Ross always wore the same clothes." This is up for interpretation. Sullivan Stans are going to take the statement and run with the literal meaning. We don't know 100% for sure that she meant Ross literally wore t he same shirt and pants everyday. Lets use another example. I have a friend who loves colorful ties. I can say "My buddy Todd always a colorful tie." I might mean he wears the same tie everyday.....OR I might mean he wears the same "kind" of tie every day. Colorful ones. But not the same exact one.
Saying Ross always wore wool long sleeve shirts doesn't necessarily mean she meant the "same" shirt. It could mean that's the style he liked to wear. YES, I fully admit she could be saying he wore the same exact shirt and pants every single day. She might have meant that. But the truth is that we don't know - either way - what she specifically meant.
**And holy hell. The dude comes to work and has a new shirt on.....and that's evidence he's a killer?
**Also, Sullivan (at least for a while) lived with a woman. If he stunk so bad that it was obnoxious to be around him, wouldn't the woman he was renting a room from tell him? And would all those "pretty girls" hang out with him all the time if he stunk that bad? Would all the college dudes he was chillin with not give him a head's up?
**Most of the negative info comes from an old lady librarian who didn't like Sullivan. I'm not sure we should take her word as gospel.
**Finally...."his handwriting is an exact match." Lol, no it isn't. Not even close "But five of his letters match the Zodiac's letters and his 2 is exactly the same." So we should just ignore that 21 of his letters don't match? And look at the car door that Zodiac wrote on. There are four "6" on the door and they ALL LOOK DIFFERENT. But one 6 that Sullivan wrote matches one of those four 6s......
**On the pro-Sullivan side. He does resemble one of the famous police sketches. So if you aren't in the crowd that doesn't believe witnesses can give accurate sketches.....and you don't think Zodiac disguised himself at all........then yes, Sullivan does resemble the sketch. Sullivan had huge lips, which the sketch doesn't really show. But it's not a picture. Sullivan no doubt knew Bates. We don't know if they were friends or not. But it's more than likely they knew each other. And Sullivan worked part-time (reported to be one-hour shifts) at the library beside where Bates was killed.
Sullivan was clearly not the Zodiac. Nobody has been able to place him at any of the crime areas. And physical size rules him out as well. He is a terrible Zodiac suspect. There is no chance he was the zodiac.
And he's a terrible suspect for the Bates murder. No scratches on his face, investigated by police, hair was wrong color and came from a beard - ross didn't have a beard, and he had a credible alibi.
Honestly, it's time to put this dude to bed and focus your time and energy on other potential suspects.
Just my opinion.
submitted by FoxBeach to ZodiacKiller [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 22:47 little_traveler How can I save my friendship with my depressed best friend?

Note: It's hard to put this into words; I hope I do not offend anyone- I am trying to verbalize this well, but may have failed because I don't fully understand my own feelings about it.

One of my oldest friends has been struggling with severe depression for over a decade.

A decade ago, we would laugh endlessly together- but now, I don't know how to interact with her. In every text, call, or hangout, she is always sad. She voices complaints about her life constantly, and when we do discuss another topic, she redirects the conversation back to her "depressing life" (her words, not mine).
For me, this has complicated our friendship because:
1) I feel guilty asking for her support when I want/need it, because she perceives my life as "better" than hers (it's important to note that I do not have depression, though I struggled with a 2 year episode of depression due to specific life circumstances when I was a teenager--something that has had a profound impact on my life and who I am today).
2) I also feel guilty sharing my proud/happy moments with her because I am afraid this will make her feel worse- she often compares our lives.
3) I find myself not including her in many aspects of my life, due to the above 2 points.
I would love to know everyone's thoughts....am I being a jerk/bad friend and just protecting my own happiness? Am I a proponent of toxic positivity because I always try to find a silver lining in all aspects of life? How can I best support her and try to have a healthy friendship (if possible?), without being triggered back into my own trauma (from my past, and with my current family situation)? Have you experienced something similar with your friendship, and how did you push through it?
Thank you in advance for your perspectives, thoughts, and guidance. <3
submitted by little_traveler to depression_help [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 22:13 yourdailyweeb6 I was wondering about Sans saying "You'd be Dead Where You Stand."

So, he's basically saying "I would have killed you the second I saw you", or so I thought. If that's the case, it just doesn't seem like Sans at all. This is what I mean:
If he never made the promise to Toriel, would he have really killed Frisk? It doesn't quite make sense because he'd like his brother to see a human and be happy. I know he's an enigma and all, but even if Papyrus found out he had killed a human, he definetly wouldn't be pleased.
If you get a neutral ending where Papyrus becomes king, he AND Sans tell you the new rule for humans that fall down for the future. Sans says "We can't judge someone for being entirely bad or good." (first meeting them, of course) Then Papyrus says "So we give both of them puzzles!". The "puzzles" part definitely is Papyrus' rule, but I really think that the "judging" part was Sans. That's proof that he wouldn't kill a human first glance.
Sans during genocide is only that powerful because of KR (Karmic Retribution). If he met a human for the first time and doesn't know if they killed anyone, he wouldn't have such strong power to stop them. He'd probably be pretty weak if he fought. If you kill Papyrus on a neutral route and meet Sans in the Last Corridor (of course he's mad cuz you killed Pap) but he also says "I understand self-defence".
So, basically what I'm saying is that I think if Sans didn't make the promise, he wouldn't have killed Frisk unless they were constantly killing or killed a few people. If Frisk killed Papyrus on a neutral route, Sans would definetly have killed them, most likely having some KR by that point. If they had killed a few monsters to a point where Sans believes they are dangerous, but they were great friends and went on a date or hangout with Papyrus, killing them most likely would go on hold.
Of course, in the actual game (as long as you aren't incredibly nasty from the start), Sans becomes great pals with Frisk and gains a lot more Hope. I think that when he says "You'd be dead where you stand" he's either saying "Without my protection, monsters would have torn you apart" or he's just being really serious with you reassuring you to take care of yourself in the line "Take care of yourself, kid. 'Cause someone really cares about you."
I wanted to know of your thoughts, please. :)
submitted by yourdailyweeb6 to Undertale [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 20:13 Faction_Chief @NBCNews: RT @CaroMT: Should Americans be the first in line to get a coronavirus vaccine if it is produced by a US company? We're talking vaccine nationalism, distribution, safety and more tomorrow @NBCNews Global Hangout. Let us know where you stand on the issues - tweet me.

@NBCNews: RT @CaroMT: Should Americans be the first in line to get a coronavirus vaccine if it is produced by a US company? We're talking vaccine nationalism, distribution, safety and more tomorrow @NBCNews Global Hangout. Let us know where you stand on the issues - tweet me. submitted by Faction_Chief to NoFilterNews [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 19:57 -en- @NBCNews: RT @CaroMT: Should Americans be the first in line to get a coronavirus vaccine if it is produced by a US company? We're talking vaccine nationalism, distribution, safety and more tomorrow @NBCNews Global Hangout. Let us know where you stand on the issues - tweet me.

@NBCNews: RT @CaroMT: Should Americans be the first in line to get a coronavirus vaccine if it is produced by a US company? We're talking vaccine nationalism, distribution, safety and more tomorrow @NBCNews Global Hangout. Let us know where you stand on the issues - tweet me. submitted by -en- to newsbotbot [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 14:41 throwaway000703 I (28F) was, unknowingly at first, the other woman with my long time friend (28M) and I’m overwhelmed with guilt. His gf (26F) has no idea and I don’t think he will ever tell her, is it wrong for me to tell her?

(I use this TA for everything so I didn’t change it but saw the laxed rules, so I apologize if this has since changed back)
Over quarantine, in April , an old friend of mine from college reached out to me. We’ve stayed in touch in and out for years but one of us was always dating someone.
After we started talking we just kept having normal conversations but he was always complementing me, not just solely on looks but mostly on personality and the things that I do, the person I am.
He’s close with his family so social media posts are usually with cousins, etc. one day he posted a story and I replied, and we got to talking. I mentioned where I grew up, we talked about it and other things for a while. That’s when he randomly said “my gf is from there.” It was an awkward statement compared to the context of our conversation, and I realized she was the person he was with in the story, not a cousin, so likely they were together when I messaged him. But it was so out of context I thought he meant to write ex. Regardless, since we were talking flirting etc. for multiple weeks at that point, I stopped contact completely after that night.
Weeks later I got a random text at 1 AM and the next day I answered and we had a small conversation. Weeks after that he responded to something I had posted and we got into a conversation. He ended up admitting to me that he’s always had the biggest crush on me since the day that he met me in college. He said that I was like a celebrity crush he never imagined that I would ever like him back and that’s why he was so nervous to tell me. He sent me the beginning of a letter that he was writing and it went something along the lines of “you are beautiful inside and out. From the moment I met you, you have captivated me. Even the sound of your voice when I hear it in your videos or stories gives me chills. I think you were the coolest person I’ve ever met and I have always felt this way but I was always too nervous to tell you because I thought you would think I was weird and never speak with me again.”
He was talking to me as if the relationship he was in previously had ended. I checked his social and there were no pictures of the girl, no relationship status. I admitted that I had a crush on him for a long time too, and we ended up talking on the phone for hours. He made no mention of a relationship. Just flat out asking “are you single” felt awkward as I knew him as a great person for many, many years- and I didn’t imagine he’s say those things if he wasn’t ingle. In hindsight I see that I was wrong for not questioning him further. I guess I was caught up in our exchange of emotions. As time went on I said and did things to give him the opportunity to establish us as just friends or tell me what happened with the previous gf.
I went away for a month in the summer on a family vacation closer to where he lives. We had plans to meet on my way up (he cancelled last min and was very apologetic) he was going to visit me there. I said “hey if you’re not comfortable staying with me I have a friend with an empty room you could stay with. If you are, you can take the bed and I can sleep on the couch” His response was “why would we ever do that.”
We spoke while I was there and FaceTimed for hours and he kept telling me how beautiful I was, how my name sounded with his last name. I look back and cringe at how stupid and naive I was. He asked me for the address so he could drive up that night but I said no another the weekend. He kept telling me all the things he wanted to do together, movies to show me, random shit. When the weekend came he bailed because he had to work. It seemed weird so I got distant again and he said “I hope you can stop here on your way home”
Fast forward to that day, and he bailed again. So once home I facetimed him and pressed him to explain why he was so hot and cold. He said it was work and he was so busy and sorry and asked me to visit the next day. So I did.
When I got there he was so nervous and acted surprised that I actually came. I was upset by it a bit because it was his idea, he text me early that morning saying he was excited, and it didn’t make sense why he was so nervous. I pressed and finally got “I feel guilty because I do still have a gf”
At that point I offered to leave multiple times, I was embarrassed and felt duped. I was angry at myself. He said no because the weather and I said listen, I didn’t come here to sleep with you I came to hangout so let’s play a board game or something and I’ll stay on the couch. We had a few drinks and that’s when he started trying to kiss me. I am a very anxious person and so I continuously said stop this is a bad idea I don’t want you to hate me in the morning and you said you have a girlfriend. He told me he had never felt that way with anyone else and he had never felt that way with her. He continued to try and I continued to say this is not a good idea. He said he was so nervous initially not because of her but because of how much he liked me. Eventually I said to him, do you promise in the morning you will be completely honest with her. He said he absolutely would. I still was weary and said to him I don’t think this is a good idea, you’re going to hate yourself and me tomorrow and I think if anything were to begin I wouldn’t want it to be under these circumstances. He kissed me mid sentence and that’s how it all started. Even so I continued to question if this is really a good idea and he said “I’m going to need you in the morning when I tell her” (HINDSIGHT EYE ROLL)
We slept together and laughed so much and had the best night. He said to me he wanted me to come back that weekend, that I was so beautiful and he couldn’t believe this was happening. I said I was anxious and guilty and he would just kiss me and say that he was handling it tomorrow.
The next day I woke up to a different person, pressing me to leave saying it was a mistake and he wanted to stay friends but he couldn’t tell his girlfriend. I started to cry (a mix of many emotions, esp being used and manipulated) and he was apologetic and I left. He kept texting me saying sorry and that he was gonna figure it out soon. The following weeks I kept telling him it felt so wrong and that if I knew he was going to stay with her is never have done that. He lied to me that entire night and all of my hesitations and concerns were true. He said he needed time.
Weeks later I finally said to him that he had to tell her, that I would never have done that if he hadn’t said he would, that I mentioned her and how bad it felt the entire time he was trying to kiss me. He said he felt shame about it all and that he liked me but loved his girlfriend, and that if I couldn’t wait to see what will happen I should forget him, but he still wanted to be friends. He said he was going to be honest with her.
Weeks later he still hasn’t and I questioned him and he said he didn’t understand why I was anxious at all and that it didn’t involve me, that I was making him angry. He even said he told me “100 times” he had a Girlfriend and I still visited him... when I have every SINGLE word and conversation saved and that is NOT true. He never mentioned it.
Now it’s been over a month and I’ve looked at her social media and it makes me sick to see her posting pictures of him “the best there ever way” “my love you are the most wonderful” it makes me sick to my stomach. Not just because of the physical actions but the emotional connection I thought we had for months and including that night. I’m an empath and I can’t shake the feeling of being her and not knowing and believing this person cares so much about me. I’m sad for myself as well, because I thought the thing he said to me were true and all of this had such a negative impact on my self-esteems. Am I wrong to tell her without giving him the time to do it?
If I was a girl I would want- no need, to know. She’s innocent in all of this and he gets to just be this guy who apparently manipulated me to live out a college dream and now is acting like the best boyfriend ever. I don’t know what to do, I feel so guilty and I didn’t want to get involved but I believed he’d be honest. Girl code and I tell her myself? I feel I am the only one who can save her from future heartache. She deserves to hear it from him, but I don’t think he’s being honest that he will tell her.
It makes me anxious daily thinking about this- I have anxiety as it is and this hasn’t helped my mental health at all. I’m not sleeping, the snowball effect is happening and old things are popping up mentally. Any advice at all would be appreciated. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this
Edits: typos Edit: clarification and paragraph format
submitted by throwaway000703 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 08:21 _cliterally WIBTA if I wait to tell my overprotective mother im moving out?

For context my mom and I (19F) have a really good relationship, but she has some issues with trying to emotionally manipulate me due to some severe anxiety that she is medicated for. She also recently lost her own mother and a close friend and has been tightening the reigns on me out of fear.
I understand her concerns and we have had good conversations about everything, but she has been trying to ban me from doing things like I’m not an adult who has previously been entirely independent of her and made many big decisions for myself. There was an incident and I didn’t say anything to her at the time because it was only a couple of days after her mom died and it was not the hill to die on. I talked to my dad about it later and he agreed that it was out of line and that she needed to be more accepting of me making my own decisions. I see where she’s coming from as they’ve let me make some big decisions on my own and they have turned out pretty shit.
I moved in with a good friend, but ended up having to leave and move back in with my parents due to his severe mental illness impacting his ability to communicate with me and be a good roommate. We are still friends and I’m very happy my parents let me come home, but now that I have found two people that I’m very confident will be good roommates, I want to move out and be independent again. I have found a very nice place that’s close to my parents home.
The problem really comes in here. I brought it up to my mom about a month ago and told her I was going to be looking at apartments with my BF (19m) and his roommate. She did not take this well at all and wouldn’t stop bringing up my past mistakes, comparing my situation to hers, saying I’ll become codependent and that I won’t ever learn how to live on my own. I disagree completely with her concerns because we are VERY different people even though we love each other.
I’m moving in with my bf only because he is a good roommate. We have had extensive conversations about how we will deal w issues in our relationship and that being roommates is gonna be our first priority if things go south ( although we are both confident that even if we break up its highly unlikely we will not be friends afterwards, we were friends beforehand and just genuinely like to hangout and communicate pretty well for a couple our age). Its also a little weird to me that she assumes that I can never live on my own if I move in with this guy.
She thinks if I’m gonna move out that it needs to be solo, which is just not financially possible for me atm.
The bottom line here is that I can’t figure out how to just tell her that I’m moving out at the end of the month. The more time I spend stressing about it the less I wanna confront her, but it feels like a dick move to spring this on her at the last minute.
submitted by _cliterally to AmItheAsshole [link] [comments]


2020.09.16 01:44 ChiTownSounds Bi-Annual Breakups & more (long AF)

Doubt there's any advice anyone can give but who knows....
I've (41m) been with my girl (34f) since September 2012. We met thru Plenty of Fish. In the YEARS I used the app, she's literally the only girl I ever met. I was coming off a 10 year relationship breakup, followed by a 5 year gap in which I couldn't get a date or even just a little hanky panky. So I was feeling very UGLY, UNWANTED and DAMAGED. Her and I clicked quickly! She had a 6mo old little girl and she told me she hadn't had any "contact" since having the baby. Hangout Video chats turned into "playtime" almost every call. So when we met for the first time IN PERSON, we got busy in the back of the van! I can safely say I was fully in love with her within a couple weeks! Well, about 6 months in, I had plans to come see her but couldn't. I had no vehicle at the time and couldn't borrow one. About two or so hours later, I got a vehicle, so I left immediately without warning. I parked in front and knocked on the door but no answer. I look in the window and I THINK I see two people scurry past. I think nothing of it but I knock again knowing she's in there. She comes to the door in a bathrobe with NOTHING UNDERNEATH! My eyes lit up! She leads me to her room, takes my drinks to put them in the fridge and goes to the kitchen. But I notice, it's been a while and I thought I heard a bang outside. So go out the room and call her name but she's nowhere to be found. I look out the window of the front door and there is a guy, running to his car from the side of the house! I found my drinks sitting on a chair near the kitchen, grabbed them and headed out the front door. She comes running out standing in the car door begging me not to leave. She said she'd gone on a date with him earlier. That made me wonder about how easily she gives it up. That's all it took was dinner? I'd just give 5 years of being a perfect gentlemen but couldn't even get a hug! Needless to say, I pulled off, letting gravity close the passenger door as I drove off. She claimed she wasn't sure if we were exclusive yet or not. We were telling each other "I love you" so I figured that was enough to determine how exclusive we were. After talking for a week or so, I forgave her and tried to move past it.
Maybe about 6 more months later, she told me she was pregnant. Still worrying about the person she was and taking the advice of my mother, we aborted that child. Still pains me to this day but at the time, I'd not known her very long and didn't wanna tie myself to a stranger for the next 18 years! I thought it was the responsible thing to do at the time. It's def something that drew us closer together. Maybe about a year later tho, we broke up. I don't remember the exact reason for that breakup, but within two weeks, she was with someone else. I was hurt and fearful that my 5 year stint was gonna repeat. So I sought her out and "won" her back. She made all kinds of promises that I realize now, she never intended on keeping (like a threesome with dinner lesbian friends of hers) but I was just happy to have her back. I literally went to this guy's house while he was gone and moved her and her things out and into my place. Since I had just moved back to Florida from Atlanta in July 2012, I was staying with my mom.
Things were good for a while. For the next year and a half we raised her daughter and grew closer. Admittedly, during that time, I got some attention from some women at the bar and that boosted my confidence! So much, in fact, that I made the same mistake she did. I slept with someone else. She didn't have anywhere to go so she stayed living with me and we worked thru it. But sure enough, after about two years of being back together, she left me and within two weeks was moved in with someone else.... Again. She claimed I didn't want to do anything. I wasn't working and we were just kinda stuck here. So she'd sparked up something else and left. It was so quick, I accused her of staying that relationship before she left but she denied it. But after about 2-3 months, I reached out and we rekindled AGAIN. So, AGAIN, I went and moved her out of THIS guys house and back into mine.
Now we're 4 1/2 years in and 3 guys later. I'm working for Netflix now making good money. I eventually buy my first "new" car and things are GOOD! She starts working too but quits her first two jobs over coworkers. It's frustrating but her and her daughter are feeling like my little family now. After about 1.75 years and finally holding steady work, she got her tax return. And like magic, she takes that money and LEAVES! My mother had been putting pressure on us to pay her more money and sent me a message basically saying "y'all need to go". So instead of giving her money out of the tax check like was planned, she took it and bounced. That pissed my mom off! She moved in with a friend for about a week but was moved in with and dating a coworker within two weeks. 🙄 Again. Just like last time, it happened so fast it's hard to believe that something wasn't being developed while we were still together. But because mom said WE had to go, I had nowhere to go so I moved back to Atlanta with my cousin. Weeks later, we decided to move to Vegas. He's a singe talented singer and I'd been working on him and his career since we were 18! Being in Vegas was lonely. Especially since I was always arguing with my cousin over little bullshit things. Me and his BF (YES, he's gay) were each other's support group since he's so difficult to deal with, and he didn't like that we talked about him so it caused friction. So I moved out of the RV we drove to Vegas and into a weekly rental place. Uber eats was just enough work to keep a roof over my head. But driving all day, in a city with no friends and always by myself, I couldn't help but miss her. We were SO GOOD when things were good and I felt if we tried ONE MORE TIME it could work. So I reached out. You know what happened next.
I couldn't move her out of this guy's house personally like before but she gathered all her things and her and my stepdaughter MOVED to Vegas from Florida! This was IT! NOBODY in our relationship. Only have each other! Our own place. This was the best it had ever been! I mean, even tho I still had my worries, this was the strongest our bond had ever been! Nothing could stop us! I was only doing Uber eats tho and it wasn't cutting it anymore. She got a job thru a neighbor at the weekly and began passing the weekly rent. Her mom decided she wanted to come too and drove my girls car (that I bought for her) from Florida to Vegas to come help us. She brought a family member with her. That was the first in a comedy of errors that proceeded. Her and my girls mom got to fighting almost immediately. She was going thru her own breakup, and just was begging a bitch to everyone. So my girls mom arranged with the weekly place to switch rooms. We move into the one bedroom with mom and she moves into the studio me and my "family" lived in. That was a Sunday. That Tuesday, she took my girls car and drove off in a rage over a fight and showed back up, car wrecked, saying somebody hit her and ran. Then two days later called an Uber, put all her clothes in a black trash bag and moved back to Florida with her ex. He'd been cheating but still bought her a plane ticket back. Leaving us with the payment on my old room which was still in my name. Exactly what I feared and even voiced that fear. 🙄
Thanksgiving comes and my girl is laid off. My car was in dire need of brakes, But instead of fixing the car, I used the $100 advance the Uber card gave me to make sure we have food and gifts for Christmas. I couldn't drive for two weeks cause I had no money for gas to get out and earn money. Her mom had money coming soon but I had to wait till then and ask for a full tank to go work. During that time, her mom got the idea in her head that I DON'T WANNA WORK and began doggin me to my girl. One week later she was on a plane to Florida and already had a place lined up to move into. There goes the help and a waste of money and resources. Since I couldn't Uber and I had no income, I was talking to my cousin again cause somebody GAVE him a restaurant on Las Vegas Blvd and he needed help getting it up and running properly. So I dedicated all my time to helping my cousin in hopes that it was the big payday I'd dreamed of since I was 18. My girl had gotten rehired at the job that laid her off so we were good on rent again now that the holidays were over. But we were behind, way behind. Her mom leaving put us in a hole that lasted months. We paid late fees every week cause every week we were paying for the previous week. We were blessed to have had the property manager work with us the way he did or we'd have been on the streets new years day! I was trying to make money but there was no money in a restaurant that nobody patronises. Try as we may, we just never made enough money to be paid, only buy food for they next day. That lasted all of a couple months before I had to take A REAL JOB. My girls boss offered me a janitorial position to come work with them and I took it. I tried doing both but I physically couldn't handle it. The new job started at 5am and I was at the restaurant every night past midnight with an hour walk home! So I told him I needed to go work. He seemed cool about it until I didn't show up for a week out of sheer exhaustion.
I should've learned my lesson about allowing people into our relationship but, c'mon, it's me were talking about. Her baby's father, whom I never had a problem with nor was he ever somebody I had to worry about her going back to, wanted to come "help" and in turn, help his daughter. School was about to start and with both of us working a 5am to 1pm job, we kinda needed help! He's disabled from a bad accident and wanted to use whatever benifits he got to help us and at the same time develop a relationship with his daughter. He has a bunch of kids and no relationship with ANY of them and looked at this as his last chance to have one. He was getting a monthly check, he had help to offer, so I agreed to let him come but on the caveat that he get his own place ASAP since he was qualifed for the government to give him one.
5 mins. No exaggeration... It took five minutes from the moment he walked in the door for him to start arguing with her about something petty. And for the next couple weeks, I spent my weekends "talking him off the ledge" about how shitty his life was and how he wanted to die. He didn't like the neighborhood we were in cause there was a lot of homeless nearby, but we'd learned to live with it. Then he starts on me. I don't know he was bipolar before he moved in but I figured it out very quickly. I overheard him tell his daughter that he moved to Vegas to "show you what a man looks like cause, Bibi isn't one". I'm Bibi cause that's how she pronounced Billy. I was heated. I was ready to beat his ass and put him out with the homeless. That's when we uncovered a ploy by him, my girls dad and my girls sister to KIDNAP my stepdaughter and take her back to Florida cause they didn't think she belonged in Vegas and wasn't happy. We called the cops immediately! Omfg, really? Luckily the job let me work a split shift. I stayed home to put my stepdaughter on the bus and then went to work. She was home by time the bus arrived and would walk her home cause we didn't want him to intercept and take her away.
All of this, as bad as it is, pulled is together tighter. We both got promoted at the job. We finally paid up on time and got to where we didn't owe late fees anymore. I'd see him from time to time when I'd pass on the bus home but that was it. He wasn't allowed on the property. Money was building up and the next tax check that came was gonna really set us up! But it was also the two year marker. Every two years we'd breakup. Right around tax time. So yes, a part of me was anxious. But things were great! We'd just had another Christmas and this one was without the bullshit. My stepdaughter got every gift she wanted. We felt accomplished as parents! Life was GOOD!
At the job, we'd made some friends. I knew guys were trying her, but I trusted her to handle her business properly. And as far as I could tell, she did. I didn't like how the guy who sold us bud was always in her phone but shrugged it off. I TRUSTED HER. THINGS WERE GREAT! She'd befriended a 21yo girl that drove the forklift. They worked closely so she would give my girl a ride home and they'd blaze. We exchanged gifts with her for Christmas, gave her advice about the multiple guys she was fucking (two worked with us) and even spoke of getting a place together, the 3 of us. Somewhere along the way, she told my girl something and thought she had repeated it on the floor at work. So she asked me if she could get MY opinion. Since I'm a guy and "think like them". I realize NOW why that is wrong, but at the time, I thought I was just giving the same friendly advice I had previously. I had no intentions of anything extra and neither did she. But, for the sake of not causing a problem, we had those conversations in Snapchat so they would delete immediately. This carried on for about 3 weeks when suddenly my girl gets very suspicious. My phone and social media had always been accessable cause I didn't have anything to hide. She goes in my phone and she sees a message from me that says "it's all gravy, baby" and took it ALL THE WAY TOO LEFT FIELD. I said it cause it rhymed, not cause she was my "baby". So the next day, my girl confronts her AT WORK and shit hits the fan! I hear what happened before I even got to work! When she saw me and tried to confront me, I told her EVERYTHING. Right there on the spot. Yes, we'd been talking bout about her and these other guys. Something she was fully aware of. I mean, this girl was fucking TWO at work but still hung up on her ex that had a kid with someone else 4 years into their 8 year relationship! I didn't want to get involved in that MESS! But at this point, my girl thinks we fucked but she just can't prove it. Why am I so dumb tho... Cause a couple days later, she posted A BUTT NAKED picture of herself on Snapchat. In the middle of arguing with my girl, I see the pic but don't wanna stare. I wanted to see! She had a decent body! So I screenshot the picture. I had little experience with Snapchat so I didn't know she gets notification that I did that. Well, that night, my girl goes in my phone and what does she find? 🙄 Fuck, now it looks worse. But knowing what I was actually doing and knowing that she was wrong, I became "a dick" and was more mad at her for embarrassing me at work in front of everyone. She accused me and immediately quit, so she didn't have to see anyone at work again!
The tax check was gonna be there any day now and at this point we've had it out with each other and brought up all our old injuries. Told her things I'd thought of but never said out loud, like the fact that she got a "Bonnie and Clyde" tattoo with one of the guys she left me for and had wings put on another for her first BF... and that it bothered me and sometimes slowed me sexually. Her mom had recently been diagnosed and told her she was "dying". I thought it was just another ploy by her family to get my stepdaughter back to Florida. So after I calmed down some, I suggested maybe she take the tax check and come back till her mom passed. She thought I was just trying to get rid of her. She took a weekend and came back to talk to her mom and that weekend sent my stepdaughter back to Florida. I lost it. I spent the next couple weeks dying slowly. This isn't what I wanted but I'd said some mean shit when I was mad. So she was set to go back to Florida and I was gonna stay. I wanted to try something long distance but she said "3 weeks and I'll have moved on from you", there was no saving it. Then I got fired for "leaving out the wrong door" at work. 🙄 Them bitches at the temp agency just didn't like me. Now I'm without work. , With no recourse, I decided to leave with her. We went out to dinner and spent that last month in Vegas like a couple, but as soon as we got back, she ghosted.
Turns out she'd started taking to someone back in Florida before we left and was already in something two weeks within getting back... Sound familiar? I didn't know it at the time. We got back to town AS COVID HIT! Literally got here and everything shut down. I stayed with a friend but no work meant I had to go, quickly. Mom allowed me to come back even tho she was upset at the way things ended two years before. I spent every waking moment trying to get her back.... Again. There was a guy (another guy) in her Facebook trying hard and I told him to back off. That upset her so she blocked me. She was already dating this other guy and had a second guy trying hard. I thought that was it! For the next 3 months, when the phone bill was due, instead of splitting it up, she remained on my account. That led to us talking more.
She was staying at her sisters and HATED IT! As you can imagine, with all the past I mentioned, that family is HARD to deal with. I begged and begged until finally she said "if we do this, it has to be done right!" So I put my tail between my legs and begged my mom to let her come back. She reluctantly agreed and they moved in June 17th. I bought my brother's used car and spent every penny of my stimulus check to get things right for US. She stated the weekend with her mom for the Fourth. I hated it cause it didn't feel right. So a week later, I go in her phone and what do I find. Messages to him about making it thru this and finally being together. She'd spent the Forth with HIM. THAT SHOULD BE THE END, RIGHT? No, I tell her, "look, now we both have something to make up for, let's use this to move forward." Then the weekend of Aug 19 she went to stay with her mom again to take her to an appointment in the morning. Why the need to stay the night? So I drive there in the middle of the night and find that my car isn't there. She took my car, left me with her kid and went and fucked this other dude.... Again... For the second time since moving hey back in June 17th.
SO WHY IS THIS GIRL STILL HERE? WHY DO I ALLOW THIS SHIT TO HAPPEN TO ME? There's some truth to the fact that, I'm getting older and still want at least one more kid. But that's not the MAIN reason I don't want her to go. It's the little things. Besides being a fucking LAIR everything else is great. Cooks, cleans, sucks, fucks, takes care of me! Starting over means I won't have one until I'm 45+ and that's just too far away. But do I wanna have kids with this girl? Can I trust this girl? I know that answer... But here I am, 10 heartbreaks later still chasing this girl. If I didn't fear being alone for the rest of my life, I might have left long ago.
Sorry, spent hours writing this and now she's home from work. So I kinda ended it abruptly, but that's where I'm at. There's a trust being built again. Neither of us have Facebook anymore. I also have her phone code to check it whenever, but if you delete it right away... 🤷🏽‍♂️ I dunno... Mostly venting cause I have NOBODY to talk to about it. All my friends and family are sick of hearing it. NOBODY knows that last part about caring her cheating TWICE since being back... I know what they'd say. 😭
Sorry it's so long, but that's my last 8 years of life in a nutshell!
submitted by ChiTownSounds to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 16:53 reagano6 I'm really tempted to break girl code but I feel like an awful person. Please help!

Warning: Long Post Ahead
So I am caught at a crossroads currently. I'll condense the main people in the story as follows: W, T, G and I. T, G, and I are all girls and W is a boy. We're all in our junior year of high school.
So G and W have been childhood best friends and W caught feelings for her. G turned him down nicely and they've continued to be really good friends with eachother. T and I were childhood best friends, but T introduced me to G, who introduced me to W. T and W ended up going out for 6 months or so, but it was obvious that she wasn't as into him as he was into her.
T would constantly complain that she was bored in the relationship and that she really just liked being a relationship in general. G and I both told her that this was completely unfair of her, and although we loved her she had to shut it down if she didn't actually like him. She was also weirdly overprotective of him, telling W that he couldn't be friends with G anymore because she thought that there was something going on between them. Except that there absolutely wasn't. Everybody reassured her of this, but she kept pushing the envelope. Because of this, G ended her friendship with T. She told her that she was acting toxic and that she couldn't be in a friendship where she was constantly accusing her of a relationship that wasn't there. G was also angry that she had known W for much longer than T had, and she still tried to get W to cut her off.
T broke up with W, and really I was only friends with her after that because we had been best friends since the 3rd grade. G was totally fine with our relationship and had said multiple times "I don't care that you're friends with her, I just personally don't want to have one with her anymore" which I thought was fair. T, on the other hand, told me that I was being a bad friend because I hadn't cut G off after they stopped being friends. The way I saw it was that G hadn't been anything but a great freind to me, and there was literally no point that their falling out should affect me or my friendships in any way since I was friends with them both. T insisted that I was being a bad friend, and although we never officially said that we weren't friends anymore we've grown apart significantly. She doesn't speak to me unless I initiate it, and I was the one who suggested that we get together to talk out our differences where she insisted I needed to choose. (Her words were 'I don't want to tell you who to be friends with but I just feel betrayed that you wouldn't stand by me' or something aloong those lines).
Now I feel like I was very tolerable of her and how she treated me. She's been going through some personal issues lately which I won't disclose in respect to her, but I feel like she's always taken her frusteration out on me because we have so much history and I was easily her most dependable friend. I wasn't invited to a group hangout this year that literally everybody in the group was invited to because "she was annoyed with me" which is a fairly consistent reoccuring thing. I got into a car accident, and when I texted her about it I got a text two or three days later asking what happened. I'm not saying I was a perfect friend, but I like to think that I've been there for her.
Since then, I've recently gotten a job with W. We were spending close to 40 hours a week and obviously became super close. He's easily become my best friend and we joke all the time that I've slowly started to become him throughout the past 3 or so months we've been hanging out. He's expressed interest in me, and I've tried to play it off so as not to lead him or anything because I feel terrible. I feel disgusted with myself. Despite our falling out, I feel like I owe her not to pursue her ex boyfriend. The only issue is that he's genuinely the nicest guy. I had a thing for him freshman year that I never pursued because it wasn't all that serious, but I still have and always think that he's a dependable, kind, and just overall fantastic guy. T is the only thing holding me back from pursuing it.
The reason I ask for advice now is because last night he put his arm around my waist, something he's never done before. I told him I felt guilty about T, and he immediately dropped his arm and apologized. I told him it's nothing for him to feel bad about, I'm just struggling here morally because I obviously like him but I don't know what to do out of respect for T. He went on to say that he felt guilty too and that's why he hadn't made any real moves. I told him that's exactly how I felt too. At that point I had to leave, but we continued talking about it. He said that he doesn't care what happens so long as we remain close friends. I completely agree. I love him, firstly, as a friend and I always, always want to keep him that close to me at least. But I can tell this poor guy feels guilty, and feels bad that I feel guilty, which makes me feel bad that I'm causing him to feel guilty and worry, and it's all a huge mess.
Not that it really matters, but G and another one of my close friends have told me to go for it. My mom thinks it would be a huge mistake and told me that I made the right choice by telling him why I felt bad. The thing is is I thought I would feel better telling him, but I just feel worse. I feel like I've messed everything up. I feel like if I don't end up getting together with him I'll have ended up led him on by admitting I like him, but if I do go through with it I'm a seflish, awful person who could never be trusted again. I would love any advice y'all would be willing to give me. Thank you so much for reading, and have a great day.
submitted by reagano6 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.15 07:34 Aeon199 Has anyone ever seen "low-value" guy with cool woman?

Sorry if the title line sounds dubious--I just have no other way to ask this question. I'll define "low-value guy" as kind of guy who could use 15 dating sites for an entire year and get shut-out by literally everyone (by this I mean, he might get replies, but never even one date/hangout.)
More info about the kind of "low value" I mean: let's say the guy is 5'9", thin, and healthy, but he's far from buff, he has no social status, no prestige of any kind, no money, etc.
This subreddit goes on and on about high-value males vs. low-value males, saying that women "want the best they can get in every situation" therefore implying any woman who has options, would therefore never have romantic/sexual interest in a "low value guy" as in my description. As far as "decent woman" goes, I'll make the definition simple... it's just a woman "who definitely has some options." I don't want to make this into some kind of cruel debate, either. It's just about making a point.
I want to try to prove this RP/EvoPsych thinking wrong for once, with quality anecdotes. And the more jarring the example (for instance, a model-esque woman who was the envy of many, dating some 5'9" thin guy with no college degree or job) the more kudos you will get. You have to be believable though; I don't want folks "making crap up" either for the laughs, or for the props.
Does this kind of thing happen, ever? I'd be interested to know the ins-and-outs of it, if it ever does happen.
submitted by Aeon199 to seduction [link] [comments]


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